PDA

View Full Version : Still untitled ,.......?


ramenjames
02-05-2005, 04:00 AM
Close your eyes
Its time
Nothing will
Nothing will
Interfere

You let life
You let life
Pass you by
You let life
You let Life
pass you by

Mabey crimes should be forgiven
Mabey I will use this time to grow
Mabey You could lift your head up
Mabey I will remember that only time will let this go

We let life
We let life
Pass us by
We let life
We let Life
pass us by

To old to
Remember why
The time for change
The time for change has
Expired

I Let life
I let life
Pass me by
I Let life
I let life
Pass me by




any work needed?

It might sound kind of bizaar writen like that...but it works well with the guitar part

teleplayer101
02-05-2005, 11:42 AM
wanna hear what it sounds like with the guitar part. probally would sound pretty interesting

ClayTheJ
02-05-2005, 12:44 PM
Very repititive, but repitition works in a lot of songs. You spelled maybe wrong 4 times in a row, how do you pull that off?

ramenjames
02-05-2005, 04:08 PM
poor spelling ability+ didnt take teh time to spell check it=mabey spelt wrong 4 times in a row

i know its repetative

thanks for the crits

MakeJobsNotWar
02-05-2005, 05:21 PM
its alright, but its too vague for my liking. You arent creating any images in my mind when i read it therefore i loose alot of interest.

CcD
02-05-2005, 09:41 PM
Makejobsnotwar is right, this is way too vague. It could be about multiple things; and, although that works in some songs, this one in particular did not make me think at all. All the repetitiveness is just reinforcing the lameness too. No imagery either. I don't think these lyrics could hold anyones attention, but if you say it works well with the guitar part... Sorry for the harsh crit, but I think you are probably capable of doing better.