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View Full Version : I didnt write this :(


Akehuka7_II
02-04-2005, 06:31 PM
So a girl I know wrote this, and I was just wondering what you people thought of it. Not the best I've saw her do...

3rd chamber shut-down. Dont worry the fourth still longs for your love.
Terracotta tissue surrounds all of the yearning I have left.
Torn to shreads, just bits and pieces,
left with not much more than a second-hand love machine.
Sorry, babe, its all Ive got.
I've bled all I could-Once filled with lustful intentions,
my blood is now cold.
Im anemic, baby, but I'd bleed to death for you.

Drops of crimson hit the floor-
burgundy tears-Like never before.
I saw your eyes- so full of pain.
Im guilty until you prove me otherwise.
Okay- I plead insanity.
Watch out, Angel, here I come.
I cant stop now- Im on the run.
I need to get away from you,
I need to leave the things you do.

Come on babe- And. Well...
Its not like Im ever going to be more than this.
Settle for last. I learned that early.
Tough times- broken home- Lost and confused- Just leave me the Hell alone

teleplayer101
02-04-2005, 06:35 PM
i really liked it. 8/10

please crit mine thanks

Sailorgirl#1
02-05-2005, 02:21 PM
Hey I kinda like it. This song gets an 8.2/10. Tell your friend to keep it up.

metaliq
02-05-2005, 03:36 PM
Inane rhyming.

Yawn.