just something but its unfinished

[jmusic4every]

I’m walking with a mirror next to me
I walk in and out of the world
Using my decoy for many things
There’s a whole lot of differences
But it is unseen
I find myself so unbearable
That no one ever sees me
I hate what I have brought
This image of what I’m not
Everyone believes me
And now I wanna turn back
But I’m too afraid
It seems too late

Insecurities brought out
These thoughts in me
Turned out so wrongly
I want to runaway
And start it all over

I want to let go
I can’t live with these lies anymore
Everything I’ve ever known
I’ve never known

[Devil Inferno]

first thing, don't post unfinished songs, most of mx/sw&l probrably won't crit it

I’m walking with a mirror next to me
I walk in and out of the world
Using my decoy for many things
There’s a whole lot of differences
But it is unseen
I find myself so unbearable
That no one ever sees me
I hate what I have brought
This image of what I’m not
Everyone believes me
And now I wanna turn back
But I’m too afraid
It seems too late

firstly, too long a verse. Split this into 2.
the ideas/feelings potrayed are understandable, but its to uncoherently potrayed. you need to organized the ideas properly. its stuff like these that wear out criters fast.

Insecurities brought out
These thoughts in me
Turned out so wrongly
I want to runaway
And start it all over

4th line is cliched. you need more strength in this one.

I want to let go
I can’t live with these lies anymore
Everything I’ve ever known
I’ve never known

ok. this seems a little linkin park influenced, but well, you need a better song structure. this one is too shaky for its own good.