Emo Opera #3(You'll Never Know)

[MDguitaroo]

This is another part of my emo opera, this is right after the "break up" and it kind of details the disbelief and heart-break to follow(and please forgive the heavy cliches):

i turn my head, shy away from you,
in your face is a bitter sweet hipocracy come true.
but i can't let go, for a reason i can't see,
it makes me realize you're the only one for me.

you'll never know,
but i want you to.
you'll never know,
till i tell you.

there's been many before, and there'll be many since,
but don't leave me like this, save me if you can.
you're the only thing that's right, in a life that's less than trite.
so now i decide to show that to you.

you'll never know,
but i want you to.
you'll never know,
till I tell you.

as the sky closes, and the sun no longer shines,
the moon comes out in your eyes.
your beautiful...beautiful mistake is my death.
please let these be my last words.

[ace of spades]

yea, thats pretty heavily cliqued, not a super bad tho... the first and last verses were alright, the rest didnt really cut it for me though... mabye if you were a little more clear it would help to strength those parts. The chorus wasnt very good unless you wanted it to be one of those say alot by not saying much deals , so yea it might be alright

5/10

[MDguitaroo]

yeah, it isn't very descriptive, but the idea is kindda to just continue from the two songs before it(my emo opera idea) so without those 2 songs, it kind of is lacking a lot... maybe i need to re-think the construction of these songs and add something to all of them?

[ace of spades]

mabye in one you could give sortof a background that would support the rest of the parts, like an introduction... just a thought