Speech

[Left Face Down]

It's basicly a poem of some sort... just something I wrote out while I was zoned out in calculus II today... Crit please, I like writting and I like hearing ways to make it better, be it a poemy thing or lyrics for a song.




Speech is only a word
Which justifies the things we say
No matter how absurd

When things are lost
Speech is what we use to find
What we wouldn't normally cross

In the boredom of the day
When people meet in the cafe
Speech is what we use to say
Hello

Speech is there in the night
When no words can describe how you feel
When you're with a girl that's right

When locked eyes tell everything
Speech may not be in spoken tounge
But in our minds the eyes say everything

When the air gets cold and the days are long
And your summer love has gone in the fall
Speech gives you something to say when it's all wrong
Goodbye

[Floydfanatic]

this is really great right here. nothing i would change 5/5

Speech is only a word
Which justifies the things we say
No matter how absurd

hmmm. nothing stands out here but it does get the point out easily and isn't hard to understand 3/5

When things are lost
Speech is what we use to find
What we wouldn't normally cross

i don't really like the flow of this stanza... i'm not sure why... i think that it relies on the rhyme scheme too much.. 2.5/5

In the boredom of the day
When people meet in the cafe
Speech is what we use to say
Hello

i like this a lot actually... the rhymes sound sort of forced but it does flow nicely. 4/5

Speech is there in the night
When no words can describe how you feel
When you're with a girl that's right

good as well...4/5

When locked eyes tell everything
Speech may not be in spoken tounge
But in our minds the eyes say everything

4/5

When the air gets cold and the days are long
And your summer love has gone in the fall
Speech gives you something to say when it's all wrong
Goodbye


this is some pretty good stuff right here... make some of the parts flow a little better... but overall very nice lfd! i give it a 4/5

btw... could you please crit my lyrics, paintings.