desert of delilah ( i think yal well really like it check me out thanks)

[espf-250htd06]

Together in the garden
Every wish to our disposal
No dreams
Why sleep when life is perfect

So many days and so many months
I was under the curse
A tangible object in your palm
Mearly a mirage in the desert

Dehydrated by love
crawling into unseen sand
The duns keep rolling
Where is the water to end my thirst

~chorus~
The sun fries my skin
To a charred remain
You toke my heaven
So we could visit hell
All lies lead to this one
In your soul my eyes well dwell

Lord send me the ocean
Lord send me a horse
Lord let me crawl out of this desert
on my hands and knees

I am in the land of cactus and snakes
I am trapped in this life of my mistakes
I am wishing she was never born
I am on my knees asking if I can be reborn

~chorus~
The sun fries my skin
To a charred remain
You toke my heaven
So we could visit hell
All lies lead to this one
In your soul my eyes well dwell


Delilah, I should have known by the name
You wasn’t my friend
You were only here to take my strength


delilah is the women in the bible that toke the guys hair ( and his strength) thought it would be cool to incorparate religon in a love type or not love type song crit the heck out of it thanks cyal

[thirdeyeblindislit]

One question, I'm thinking this is a country song. Well it is really good. Considering I live in Arizona. I like the line "why sleep when life is perfect". That is a great line to use. Alot of great imagery. The song seems to lack in flow in some parts, but not that bad. I'm not so sure about the chorus, but it's not horrible. Nice job. :thumb: 8.6/10

Please crit my song Anthem of crying children. Thanks.

[The_One]

When you said she toke a the guy's hair did you mean took? Actually, you use the word toke a lot. What does that mean?


Delilah, I should have known by the name
You wasn’t my friend
You were only here to take my strength
You *weren't my friend? This last line is bland. Try and make it more interesting.

This piece is alright.

7/10

[espf-250htd06]

thanks for the cirts

[espf-250htd06]

not country idk going for rock which is all i write but idk if it would work or not

[TheSeeker625]

Cool biblical references, but it could be organized better, with better delivery. Smooth it out. Also, with the instruments, it's gotta be an epic-type song. That fits perfectly with the bible, and plus, you're gonna want everyone to hear those lyrics.
7/10

[espf-250htd06]

thanks for the crit you make alot of good points

[espf-250htd06]

bump