unify--- crit plz

[toomuchhorrorbusiness]

Verse 1
Listen to the battle cries
The voice that echoes through the night
Remembering the souls that tried
The souls that tried to save our lives

Chorus
War is war, peace is peace,
Unify as one
Unify to stop the fighting
Before it has begun

Verse 2
The broken spirits of all the soldiers
Lying lifeless on the ground
Hover o’er us like solemn memories
They won’t cease to bring us down

Chorus

Verse 3
Are you fighting for your country?
Or just fighting for you death?
The comparison is not so obvious
Until your one last gasping breath

Bridge (with the chorus sung in the background)
Land, religion, oil, and pride
Are no reasons for men to die
United we stand and divided we fall
So people unify one and all

Chorus

[mvanin]

I really like the message behind this song. Great imagery as well.

[Sword2020]

Wow, great song. Not realy punky, metaly, or any of that. Not that those are bad, but this song seems much lighter. A very good type of thing to play with a group of other musicians at a rally against war. Overall, very good, except the chorus. It just doesn't flow like I feel it should. That can always be changed when it's sung, but maybe you could change it a little. Could you crit my song please? It is The American Dream. Thanks.

[H to the ickle]

That's a pretty cool song. I'm not sure I really *like* the message behind it, but it's conveyed fairly clearly, they the rhyming seems a little out of place in a song like this.

I'd give it a 8/10

[toomuchhorrorbusiness]

bump

[toomuchhorrorbusiness]

bumpity bump bump

[gardnerville gangsta]

i like it...it has a good flow and the message is cool...well done
8/10

[toomuchhorrorbusiness]

yet another BUMP