The Clichè Song

[mr.starr]

I looked over the last one and saw how much it actually sucked. hope this is better. its about all these people who only write about how sad they are and stuff. tell me what i should fix. and in this song, I did not take ANYTHING from ANYONE.

Oh, I feel so very very sad,
Cutting my veins, cause I'm so mad,
Crying like a girl yeah, crying today,
But it doesnt matter,
Cause I'm singing a clichè!

Crying for nothing, it's so lame,
This and that, they're all the same.
Please don't share,
Cause we don't care!

I was the wierd kid at school,
To the other kids, a fool,
Today I'm really whining,
Nah just kidding.
Actually, I'm shining.

Crying for nothing, it's so lame,
This and that, they're all the same.
Please don't share,
Cause we don't care!

Oh, I'm a multimillionair,
But I still don't like it here,
Crying like a girl yeah, crying today,
But it doesn't matter,
Cause I'm singing a clichè

Crying for nothing, it's so lame,
This and that, they're all the same.
Crying for nothing, it's so lame,
This and that, they're all the same.
Please don't share,
Cause we don't care!

I'll probably add a bridge too.

[mr.starr]

can someone please crit?:P

[Understanding In a Crash]

If this is a joke song, I guess it's okay but nothing too flashy really. It feels more as if it was a poem because "some emo kid cried in my bio class today" type.

[mr.starr]

Yeah, I guess it's kinda a semi-jokey song. In the verses there are just alot of minor chords and stuff and then it picks up in the chorus and becomes a little more normal.

[Sword2020]

You know, there just was a song like this posted, maybe 2 days ago. This one is better. Still, I don't go for jokey songs. I know what you mean, and it is relevant, but somehow it doesn't really seem like it can be done seriously. Could crit mine, even though my crit wasn't much. It's called The American Dream. Thanks.