grungy song I just started 5 mins ago

[fingertaps]

VERSE 1
Staring ahead in this lonely world
Wishing our lives were in our hands
Young man sees what he wants to see
Blind man sees it another way

CHORUS
And we all take life for granted
What we see we believe
Finding our way through the darkness
Pushing away what we need

VERSE 2
Looking on down to this desolate land
Where pain and hunger live like kings
Searching for the one to set us free
Where it all went they'll never know

CHORUS
And we all take life for granted
What we see we believe
Finding our way through the darkness
Pushing away what we need

VERSE 3
Waiting on you to set this life straight
Asking for your help in times of need
Pleading for an end to all this hurt
Everything is worse than it may seem

CHORUS
And we all take life for granted
What we see we believe
Finding our way through the darkness
Pushing away what we need

[yes 70s r back]

I like the idea. I love songs that arent about love, especially onces that give personal aspects of what life is about, why we are here, and such. Keep goin dood~! :thumb:

[fingertaps]

Added another verse

[Believer]

I like it... I like it alot! Especially the 2nd verse

[fingertaps]

thanks

[livinginherletters4001]

Beautiful just beautful!

Crit me please
http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=292157

[fingertaps]

Thanks, I've left my opinion about your song as well :cool:

[ProHives]

Hi guys,
This is my 1st post in this forum.

not bad at all, like that stuff!

[burton.and.gas]

well cool! its angst filled but its still cool! amazing imagery is going on here. best of all the song is short and sweet but you still covered everything you coudl cover in it. 9/10 nice work.

[Subliminal_Nirvana]

kinda cliche ..the pain...hunger...blind ..all overused if u ask me ..millions of words to replace those ..8/10 ..i use those words sometimes too

[|Demosthenes|]

nice, i like it! too short, but has great mening to it....8.5/10
http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=293936

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Added verse 3 but don't know if I like it