-----Problem Child-----

[truly_paranoid]

It's my 1st song, it's a little weird but anyways:

Problem Child

People walking around
Their never gonna care
they just keep talking
they just keep walking

Imaturity
inseceurity
stupidity
wake up now

Always want attention
never gonna get it right
your a little failure
your a little amateur

problem child
get of that **** dope
you are way overdue
You should try sumtin new

Imaturity
inseceurity
stupidity
wake up now

You wake up to go to school
you put on your uniform
he prays his life will change
but only he can

Imaturity
inseceurity
stupidity
wake up now

[Devilinferno2]

People walking around
Their never gonna care
they just keep talking
they just keep walking

Nothing to comment.

Imaturity
inseceurity
stupidity
wake up now

Always want attention
never gonna get it right
your a little failure
your a little amateur

1st line : "always wanting attention"
last line : "omit the 'your'"

problem child
get of that **** dope
you are way overdue
You should try sumtin new


Imaturity
inseceurity
stupidity
wake up now

You wake up to go to school
you put on your uniform
he prays his life will change
but only he can

Imaturity
inseceurity
stupidity
wake up now


Well, you need more expression here, need to tell the story more clearly. pretty good first try, better than my first song anyway.

[mr.starr]

good for a first song. alot better than mine. But it is, however, a little clichèd.

[truly_paranoid]

k thx

[IOWNU200]

the chorus seemed alright but most of the verses felt like they were missing some stuff, except for the last one which i thought was pretty good. You should try adding more story into the other verses. It just seems pretty plain as of now. Try and put something else in