Any Good

[...someone®]

Okay - Here's my first one:


Anger is One Letter Short Of Danger

Verse 1
For too long, I have been afraid of the dark - But without it, I can’t see light anymore,
Have the courage to live because anyone can die - And one day my life is going to flash before my eyes…
…Make sure I am worth watching - I hope my life is a surprise,
I hope that I am worth watching - I am now afraid of life…

Verse 2
If the pen is mightier than the sword - And a picture is worth a thousand words,
How dangerous is the real thing - And how high am I going to fall…
…Make sure that I am worth watching - I hope my life comes as a surprise,
I hope that I am worth watching - I am now terrified of life…

Chorus
Anger Is Only A Letter Short Of Danger…







Also, got another one:




Fire Can’t Burn What Is Already Burnt

Verse 1
Fire cannot burn what’s already been burnt,
But my heart is blistered - Each one still hurts,
Even the birds are chained to the sky,
But at least they won’t fall when they come to die…

Even a stopped clock is right twice a day,
But I can’t be right - no matter what I say,
You cannot wash blood away with blood,
And I try and I try - Just wishing I could…

Verse 2
I have regretted my speech - never my silence,
You do not know me - Because now I am quiet,
At least I am alive - Or so it seems,
But only dead fish swim with the stream…

Am I alive or just breathing,
I am feeling as useless as a guitar with no strings on it,
Not all who wander are truly lost,
But I am stuck here in this endless wilderness …

Chorus
Nothing I do ever seems to be right,
My two hands tied - I cannot fight,
Nothing I say never ever makes sense,
Or perhaps that’s my only and best defence.







There you go... - Any good???

[...someone®]

Please Criticise?!




Anyone...

[...someone®]

...Please!


Is it that bad???

[mixmasta91]

i'll comment, i think the first one wasnt too good, cuz it didnt really rym, songs dnt have to rym but i dnt know how u wud sing it, the second one i actually thought was very good, the second one cud be a great song

[espf-250htd06]

idk seem like uve adapted your on style in writing which can be good or bad i liked the first song for the most part other song didnt impress me much thanks for the crit on my song

[POOSTAIN]

I didn't much like the first one either, but the second one was good. I didn't like the guitar metaphor at the end. It just sounded really cheesey. 7/10

[...someone®]

Thanks everyone. Anymore things to say???


I can see what you mean about 'guitar with no strings on it...' line - I was running out of ideas!



Any other stuff would be appreciated (sp?) - Thanks...

[...someone®]

I just put a poll in -


Should they go on the album - Based purely on lyrics...

[IOWNU200]

I like your style i must say. I don't know what it is about i t, but I like it. They both look pretty good to me, especially the first one. You kind of like to put in the confusion type stuff and show both sides. I'd deffinately put them both on the album. Anyways, keep up the good work.

[...someone®]

[QUOTE=IOWNU200]I like your style i must say. I don't know what it is about i t, but I like it. They both look pretty good to me, especially the first one. You kind of like to put in the confusion type stuff and show both sides. I'd deffinately put them both on the album. Anyways, keep up the good work.[/QUOTE




thanks... - they probably are going to go on

[ABulldog]

i'll comment, i think the first one wasnt too good, cuz it didnt really rym, songs dnt have to rym but i dnt know how u wud sing it, the second one i actually thought was very good, the second one cud be a great song
Songs don't have to rhyme and obviously, people don't have to use proper english anymore.

[Shtein]

I wrote this right now so it probably sucks
give me constructive crit please

try and figure out the meaning


VERSE
its the only thing
that lives inside of me
destroying what it can
oh so silently

im the only thing
that brings my misery
losing all prespective
and expressing it violently

CHORUS
dont no where to go
Jack the skeleton only knows
fighting for control
Jack the the skeleton only shows
feeling so alone
Now Jack the skeleton is so old
now im on my own
As Jack the skeleton once foretold