gingerbread man

[formchaos]

ok, this is just a start. please put in yoru opinion, thanks.


I was encaged in a 6 sided box
Thoguth I was safe untill I saw the hand
I was stolen and tormented just for laughs
After awhile things got worse and
I tried escape. I tried to run.
Got as far as i could then met up with you
But I felt so unclean, yet so gullable
Thought I could trust you but I
Should of thought better

[shadowsfallon711]

this sounds more like a poem than a song is that what you were goin for if its a song work on it more change up the hole thing it doesnt flow it all

[formchaos]

alright, thanks

[cowslick]

im thinkin you need to think about syllabic rhythm..