Gone Postal

[POOSTAIN]

This is a song I've been meaning to write for a while. It's about my ex and my means of expressing my hate towards her in a letter. The letter she gave back to me I still have and is relatively famous amongst my friends who knew what happened for how evil the thing is. Well, enough of me jaw-flappin'. A kind of poppy punk song. plz crit.


Realign my point of view,
Slam the door with thoughts of you,
All the time I spent, none of it was real.
Read each note you wrote thus far,
Why'd I find out who you are?
Can't just tell you how I feel.

(Chorus)
I sent my anger in the mail today,
I'm feeling better already.
My summary of all I wanted to say,
I hope you never forget me.

Repurcussions my intent,
Rub my face in my pretend,
What I said that day, what I didn't feel.
Scrape the **** right off my shoe,
Thinking not at all of you,
Why should I?-Seven wasn't real.

(Chorus)

(SOLO)

(Chorus)(2x)

[FourStringDemon]

It's shorter than I expected. I'm feelin the chorus and I liked the rhyme scheme. One thing...it might be better with a bridge or something to fill it out...


...but that's just me :D

[thirdeyeblindislit]

Realign my point of view,
Slam the door with thoughts of you,
All the time I spent, none of it was real.
Read each note you wrote thus far,
Why'd I find out who you are?
Can't just tell you how I feel.

(Ok I like this verse alot. The first two lines have to be the best out of the whole thing.)

(Chorus)
I sent my anger in the mail today,
I'm feeling better already.
My summary of all I wanted to say,
I hope you never forget me.

(Wonderful chorus. This is definately a keeper.)

Repurcussions my intent,
Rub my face in my pretend,
What I said that day, what I didn't feel.
Scrape the **** right off my shoe,
Thinking not at all of you,
Why should I?-Seven wasn't real.

(Ok I dont get the whole seven wasnt real thing but I did love the rest of it.)

(Chorus)

(SOLO)

(Chorus)(2x)


Thirdeye's verdict:
It may look short but I think that it is a perfect length. I think that we have all been in the situation that you have been in before. It's common. There are many songs about this kind of thing but yours is very original. You pulled it off, congradulations. :thumb: 9/10

[POOSTAIN]

To explain the Seven thing:

Back when I was going out with this girl I used to go to my brother's apartment all the time. He lived with a friend of ours who was, well, a manwhore. And whenever one of the girls he f*cked with came back and bit him in the ***, we would assign the girl a number. Since I spent so much time at the house with them, they let me have a number, hence Seven. That is the only name we refer to her as now, in total disrespect. That's about it.

[POOSTAIN]

By the way, thank both you guys a sh*tload for critiquing this song. I just wrote it last night and everything you said it was is what I was trying to do.

VICTORY FOR ZIM!!!

[POOSTAIN]

bumpity bump bump