Poems to songs

[Bassman4000]

I can pump out poetry as much as I like, but I find lyrics near impossible to write. I'll paste a couple of my poems and I would really appreciate it if you would show me the real difference between poems and song lyrics and what I need. Oh, and I'll crit anything for you in response.


Ode to Paradise

Sing a song for the home
And never leave to roam
F.uck the world
Cause you’re never mad

Never touched a hair on his head
You said
But you killed him all right
Lord knows I killed enough people
Though I never touched em

Sing a song for all those f.uckers who just don’t care
Keep it outta their hair
Outta mine
I know it is
Least I don’t laugh
Least I know

And when I wanna f.uck all o you
Want it all the time
Hold it in
Don’t do it
And who knows if I could
Not here I can’t
Not now

Sing a song for every single one
Who won’t know what they hell you’re sayin
Cause they
Just
Don’t care
At all

You can tell em how they’re bein used
Tell em all the news
Beyond me and still
You can tell em all
And they just stare

Sing a song for all they killed
For all of what once was
And for all that never will be
It’s someway connected
It all comes back

And maybe a story will do it
Cause they’ll never see
Just like me
All I got’s a little hole
But it’s more than them
Wish I could see

Sing a song
Just to sing
Don’t hear enough
They touched it all
And
And never again
Never again
Never
Again


Here's another one:


They

They told the truth
Because they lied.
They held the roof
Against the tide.

They led the crowd
Away from danger.
There’s the sow
In the manger.

They said they know
What you want.
How you know
What you want?

They picked us up
We will drop down.
Maybe with luck
We won’t make the Crown.

They set us free
Who locked us up?
Said take a knee
Why not stand up?

They yelled and screamed
To stop those howlin’.
The streets teamed
With them a prowlin’.

So

Why not ask
What they doing?
Take the task
Of the moving.

Just hark right up
Others think like you.
Catch the acid in the cup
Throw right back the spew.

Hope

The night ain’t far too dark
That we can’t find the light.
May be that we will hear the bark
May be that we won’t have to fight.

[Bassman4000]

bump

[atabner]

If you ask me they would all work as songs - sometimes a chorus/bridge helps, something that changes the flow/structure, or the same lyrical pattern, but with a different musical theme.

[Akehuka7]

well... i dunno. you could just rearrange it, or change some words to make it rhyme

[EonBlueApocalypse]

i agree with atabner to some extent, chorus bridge breakdowns in lyrics writing can help, but i find lyrics to be much more interesting readinwise when you don't have to revisit the same stanza 3 times in the lyric. basically just write a poem to a musical piece timingwise, and you've written lyrics.

[Teri Jo]

I see lots of great comments. Generally the chorus bridge breakdown makes a song sellable. Whether or not it makes it a better song, now that's a long discussion I'll avoid.

All a chorus is doing is repeating the theme, the subject of the song. We're an attention deficit society, we need reminding. That first poem has a chorus sticking right out at you.

Every one of those "sing a song for all you .." etc... could be choruses. Doesn't have to be the exact same words just the same theme.

Sometimes when you add music, no matter how great the poem, you've got to change it a little for flow, or "meter" if you want the pseudo-technical term. Sometimes a line has too many syllables for the music and you just have to get rid of a syllable.

Sometimes it's easy, like using 'cause instead of BEcause, and sometimes it's like pulling hair out trying to get it to fit. You want to avoid trying to JAM lyrics into your tune. I've done it. It's not pretty!

Now, I'm an acoustic folk/country sorta writer, and other genres might have some other thoughts. Besides, Like I've said somewhere else on these forums, if I was an expert, well I'd be reeling off top 40 songs I'd writen!

There's my grain of salt. You may season your food with it or throw it over your shoulder, or throw it away - that's the great thing about advice/critiques, etc., isn't it?

Teri Jo

[ABulldog]

yeah try to find a chorus. Listen to bands such as the doors and pink floyd. A lot of their songs are poetic. You just have to be creative with the music you put to the poem/lyrics and actually that is the best advice I can give cause music today is very boring. Try to rearrange the stanzas and make them equal in length. When you have a verse you normally would have them be equal in length so if one verse has 4 lines then the second should as well.

[Bassman4000]

Thanks for the advice, I'm beginning to see what you say. If you want a crit in return, just tell me what thread.

[Nofxandrush?]

All of your writting would work Beautifully as song Lyrics with the Proper Music added to it, try to write the music first and wite to that, it works best for me.

[Bassman4000]

Okay, thanks.