"ill never ask"

[cool_moon_dude]

this is a short song i just wrote.

"Give me what no other can give
The beauty in nothing clean
Nothing right and blinding moon
We’ll dance in the aurora’s wake
We’ll dance in the placid lakes

Negativity, story of my life
not any more
no more
anymore

flashing lights seem calmer now
lets sit and breath for hours
with my eyes open now
ill spread across the sky
ill never ask you why

I’m high on emotion
I’m high on thought
some feeling people
have always sought "

what do you guys think?
thx
james
---{@

[thirdeyeblindislit]

"Give me what no other can give
The beauty in nothing clean
Nothing right and blinding moon
We’ll dance in the aurora’s wake
We’ll dance in the placid lakes

(Wow, this has to be the most creative verse I've heard all day. Nice job.)

Negativity, story of my life
not any more
no more
anymore

(I dont know about the no more anymore thing, but nice.)

flashing lights seem calmer now
lets sit and breath for hours
with my eyes open now
ill spread across the sky
ill never ask you why

(Another great metaphorical verse. Keep it up!)

I’m high on emotion
I’m high on thought
some feeling people
have always sought "

(This is a powerful ending. Great job.)


Thirdeye's verdict:
You gave me an awsome song to read. I absoultly loved it. I didnt really get a meaning out of it, but it just sounded so good and flowed so well. Nice job. :thumb: 9.8/10

Can you please crit my bombs over baghdad song part 2? Thanks.