new peice of work in what seems forever "binded"

[mattdrums12]

well here it is, i feel like i havent writtin in forever, its been over a year. I've been trying to get back into it and just never got very lucky, havent been able to find my niche hopefully this is it, so please tell me what you think and thanks in advance for any crit.


"Binded"

binded a tedious road,
encased by the fears,
every moment, restlessness,
awaking, finding nothing,
closing aspirition,
anxiety pasing over,
nothing releives the stress,
demanded perfection
enclosed within,
begging freedom a beautiful torment,
stranded inside,
laborous acheivement unveiled,
marvolous iota,
stranded,
binded a tedious road

[slit_wrist_theory]

"binded a tedious road,
encased by the fears,
every moment, restlessness,
awaking, finding nothing,
closing aspirition,
anxiety pasing over,
nothing releives the stress,
demanded perfection
enclosed within,
begging freedom a beautiful torment,
stranded inside,
laborous acheivement unveiled,
marvolous iota,
stranded,
binded a tedious road"

I like alot of the words you've used... but alot of the lines are longer than others, and it doesn't flow very well.

Maybe if it was split up into stanzas it would read better aswell. A pause in between every four lines would help the reader digets it better.