Machines of Flesh (tentative title)

[bassaholica2004]

Sup dawgz? I haven't been around for a while. Anyway, this is my latest song. Its about a society bred for domination, and is controlled by a single tyrant; much like an anthill or bee hive. Its inspired by the game Starcraft (the Zerg actually :lol: ) Crit if you want, and I'll crit one of yours.



Creation devised for a single mind,
Blinded evolution to a single kind.
They suffer through their sacrafice,
Strengthened by an ancient entice.

Evolution designed to a deadly mass,
In sheer brutality none surpass.
Lives given to the Greater Cause,
Self-termination without pause.

(CHORUS)
All they dream they surrender to the hive,
Life doesn't exist; they are bred to survive.
Machines of Flesh, unsurpassed creation.
Drones of Death, silent domination.

Violence is their salvation,
Ended pain ****ation.
Death an exit from a mindless way,
Ruled by destruction, death and decay.

Genetics incestuously cloned,
Ascending the venomous throne.
Masters of life, creators of death.
Lulled by pain's dark caress.

(CHORUS)
All they dream they surrender to the hive,
Life doesn't exist; they are bred to survive.
Machines of Flesh, unsurpassed creation.
Drones of Death, silent domination.

[emoshalldie]

it has good flow....its all about ya know death and such...and im not too big into some of that but this isnt bad....7/10
http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=277866

[emoshalldie]

it has good flow....its all about ya know death and such...and im not too big into some of that but this isnt bad....7/10
http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=277866

[Iron_Weed]

Creation devised for a single mind,
Blinded evolution to a single kind.
They suffer through their sacrafice,
Strengthened by an ancient entice.

Evolution designed to a deadly mass,
In sheer brutality none surpass.
Lives given to the Greater Cause,
Self-termination without pause.

(CHORUS)
All they dream they surrender to the hive,
Life doesn't exist; they are bred to survive.
Machines of Flesh, unsurpassed creation.
Drones of Death, silent domination.

Violence is their salvation,
Ended pain ****ation.
Death an exit from a mindless way,
Ruled by destruction, death and decay.

Genetics incestuously cloned,
Ascending the venomous throne.
Masters of life, creators of death.
Lulled by pain's dark caress.

(CHORUS)
All they dream they surrender to the hive,
Life doesn't exist; they are bred to survive.
Machines of Flesh, unsurpassed creation.
Drones of Death, silent domination.



I dunno...it doesn't really do anything for me. You have some very creative lyrics but I don't think they really flow as a song. Also there are some quite poor rhymes e.g. death/caress. I think it just needs to be polished up a bit.
7/10

[Iron_Weed]

I dunno...it doesn't really do anything for me. You have some very creative lyrics but I don't think they really flow as a song. Also there are some quite poor rhymes e.g. death/caress. I think it just needs to be polished up a bit.
7/10

[Iron_Weed]

I dunno...it doesn't really do anything for me. You have some very creative lyrics but I don't think they really flow as a song. Also there are some quite poor rhymes e.g. death/caress. I think it just needs to be polished up a bit.
7/10

[Iron_Weed]

I dunno...it doesn't really do anything for me. You have some very creative lyrics but I don't think they really flow as a song. Also there are some quite poor rhymes e.g. death/caress. I think it just needs to be polished up a bit.
7/10

[bassaholica2004]

Wow, a quad post. I'm impressed.

But anyway, this song doesn't really do anything for me either. Its just something I wrote because I feel like I need to always be writing. I might put this to a song, I dunno. Depends on the music we write. Thanks for the crits though.

[Iron_Weed]

Whoops my computer was ****ed...I didn't think it even sent at all

[bassaholica2004]

Yeah, I think its MX. It keeps going down.

[bassaholica2004]

So... any more?

[T'an-mo]

**** ! 9/10 theres just like one or two things that could be polished up

[T'an-mo]

:thumb: D.a.m.n**