untitled. i havent been around much this is poor for me

[SkaRabbit]

this is me at my worste writing.

Broken child of a lonely home
An alcohol-fuelled dad, cries when he’s alone
You always over hear, and get it wrong
It’s not your fault your parent didn’t get along

A missing mother, she disappeared
Another problem another beer
You drink and drink to take away the pain
But you know the hole gets bigger everyday

Every reason to run away is there
But you stay home to show your dad how much you still care
For him


And you’re broken
You cannot hide the tears
You have stuck by your father
For so many years

And you’re broken
You build up the fear
You hate what’s become of you
The future is so unclear



as i will not be online again till wednesday if you leave a link to your song i will crite it as soon as posible. thank you. :thumb:

[robman304]

I thought that was a pretty nice piece with a well-expressed point. One tip that I could give you is that it might be good to write more "vague" and not give the reader as much direct information. I usually write in that kind of a style. I don't know exactly what else I can help you on, I'm sure someone else could probably help in some other ways, but if you want to ask me any questions ill do the best i can to help you my email is robman304@hotmail.com and my aol sn is on my public profile