PDA

View Full Version : Please rate this newish song


Desolated Dreams
11-26-2004, 07:39 AM
Desolated Dreams - Valhalla
Tabbed By: Desolated dreams
Email: Desolated Dreamer




Set sail for the west at dawn, Pass the lighthouse on the cliffs.
The great sun beckens all, then the haze begins to lift.
The sea birds follow as the boat begins to glide.
The sails blossom as the wind gives us its tide.
200 soldiers sit and hurl the aws with grace.
We contemplate the strenth of the army we'll face.
Our spears and shields by our sides gleam in the sun.
We'll be prepared for you when the killing time comes.

When the killing time will come.
When the killing time will come.

On the ship of Valhalla.
On the bow i stand.
Lash my sword into the air.
Forever will i stand.

On the ship of Valhalla.
On the bow i stand.
Lash my sword into the air.
Forever will i stand.

Sail in the wind.
The ocean she sings.
The sun gives her life to the place that i love.

Blue skies show hope.
As we gide the boat.
Will 200 men be here when we return?

Land approaches to the left of us and now the mist shrouds our eyes.
We clinch are own thoughts and grasp our fear in our minds.
Prepare our weapons as they sit between our hands.
Wrapping them tighter as the boat draws to the land.
Every second puts us in a trance of fear.
Each heart is pounding as the battle draws on near.
Questions flow like a river through the head 'will i make it back here?'
No time for questions, no time for tears.

There is no time for tears.
There is no time for tears.

On the ship of Valhalla.
On the bow i stand.
Lash my sword into the air.
Forever will i stand.

On the ship of Valhalla.
On the bow i stand.
Lash my sword into the air.
Forever will i stand.

Sail in the wind.
The ocean she sings.
The sun gives her life to the place that i love.

Blue skies show hope.
As we gide the boat.
Will 200 men be here when we return?

Morning waves its flags.
And the standing just collapse.
The battle comes to close.
How many dead? god only knows.
Bodies swarm the beach.
Souls of the dead meet.
Shadows of men remain.
Join at the hands to comemorate.

On the ship of Valhalla.
On the bow i stand.
Lash my sword into the air.
Forever will i stand.

On the ship of Valhalla.
On the bow i stand.
Lash my sword into the air.
Forever will i stand.

Red skies show mourn.
For men lost in war.
200 souls drift across the grey moors.

Red skies show mourn.
For men lost in war.
200 souls drift across the grey moors.

Smells-like-pie
11-26-2004, 07:44 AM
i think it's another good song. but be careful. Skinfish might say it isn't because you weren't a viking etc. you don't necessarily have to live in that era to write a song about.

morrissey
11-26-2004, 08:59 AM
1 song per day please.

Burningwater
11-26-2004, 11:32 AM
Ooh Ooh! I really like this song. VERY good use of imagery, I could see everything painted in my mind. I normally don't like rhyme schemes, but nothing seems to be forced. I commend you on that. The rhyme scheme really adds to the poetic quality of the work(as it should). I really don't have any complaints against it, except it's kinda long, but oh well, what can I do? Keep up the good work. I'm very glad to see great work like this around.
btw- i love this piece :D
9.5/10 not perfect, but pretty **** good

Desolated Dreams
11-26-2004, 11:37 AM
Ooh Ooh! I really like this song. VERY good use of imagery, I could see everything painted in my mind. I normally don't like rhyme schemes, but nothing seems to be forced. I commend you on that. The rhyme scheme really adds to the poetic quality of the work(as it should). I really don't have any complaints against it, except it's kinda long, but oh well, what can I do? Keep up the good work. I'm very glad to see great work like this around.
btw- i love this piece :D
9.5/10 not perfect, but pretty **** good
Thanks very very much. its great to hear that. it is rather long i am thinkin of cuttin it down a bit. it is probably the longest song iv done. it s about 9 minutes long altogether. i am an iron maiden fan and i guess some of their long pieces rubbed off onto me. haha. thanx alot thats great

Hammer_of_the_Gods
11-26-2004, 11:41 AM
I like it all except the repeating of the stanza:

On the ship of Valhalla.
On the bow i stand.
Lash my sword into the air.
Forever will i stand.

I just don't thik it is nessicary to repeat this back to back. Other than that i love it! 9/10

Desolated Dreams
11-26-2004, 11:44 AM
I like it all except the repeating of the stanza:

On the ship of Valhalla.
On the bow i stand.
Lash my sword into the air.
Forever will i stand.

I just don't thik it is nessicary to repeat this back to back. Other than that i love it! 9/10
thanx so much pal. thats very gud of u to rate this so highly....yes i do agree that this is rather repeatative and it will be shortened down. thanx for ur help

mshort813
11-26-2004, 04:36 PM
What the hell? this is your fourth song today.

Desolated Dreams
11-26-2004, 05:06 PM
wat the hell? 3 and 1/16th actually

MaidenEngland666
12-12-2004, 12:22 PM
10/10 dude....totally rad

MaidenEngland666
12-12-2004, 12:32 PM
yo dude....where do u get this shtuff from? its great

Infinatedestiny
12-13-2004, 04:15 PM
great song. no comments because theres too much great stuff here. 9-10/10 easy. good job and keet it up. jus maybe use a little bit more linkage as i call it.

andy_roo10
12-13-2004, 04:42 PM
i was singing it in my head like a song from a muppets movie
9/10 cause it's real catchy muppet style

crit It's So Cold In Heaven for me?

Infinatedestiny
12-13-2004, 04:46 PM
the muppets r kool...shud he take that as a compliment. il rate ur song 4 u pal but cud u r8 mine 2? it will be on 2moz.