missed oppurtunities

[russdvdsn]

hey,, i think this is my 3rd or 4th song,, so tell me what u think,, i think iam coming along, but who knows,, thanks,


Missed Oppurtunities

and i always knew i felt this way
but the distance always seperates
what could of been
what should of been
from reality

and i never should of walked away
now i live with this pain everyday
i just want you to know
before you go
that iam still here

Chorus:
its already over and you cant go back
well thats what they tell me
well i guess their right
but they have no idea of how many
missed oppurtunities
i regret in my life
and i cant sit here and act
like they dont all effect me
cause they all do
but the one that i cant seem to get over
is my missed oppurtunity
with you

and i remeber standing her wrapped up in your arms
stepping side to side
god i love this feeling when i look at you
and get lost in your eyes

Chorus

Bridge
theres always the one that
you will never get back
you just got to smile
and watch them go

chorus

i know its sorta long, but i still think its alright,, but tell me what you think, thanks,

[Kickflip_Burrito]

This song is a tad inconsistent. There are some parts that are really good but some that are either very cliché or unimaginative.

"and i always knew i felt this way
but the distance always seperates
what could of been
what should of been
from reality"

The bit 'from reality', to me sounds better after the 'but the distance always seperates'.

The 2nd verse is alright, the first 2 lines sounds good but the last 3 may need a bit of work, they are ok but could do with improvement.

The chorus, "well i guess their right" that line doesn't seem to fit, a better line could be 'they think they're right'. Also you started that line with 'well', just like the sentence before, repetition isn't always a good thing.
Also, the line "cause they all do" doesn't seem to fit either. Sounds unimaginative, give it a change.

Okay, thats all the crit. Other than the above, this song has great potential and there are some lines here that rock. Good job if this is only you're 3rd or 4th song :thumb:

Rating : 7 out of 10

[sexycakes]

this song is boring, its like everysong that has to do with someone leaving someone. ummm if it was a little more immaginative, then maybe, but for a rating 5/10 cause it is just ur 4th song

[ClayTheJ]

Thats pretty good actually, for a fourth song

[russdvdsn]

hey thanks for the crits,, i'll work on some of those parts a little later cause i really dont have time now,, any more?