The Eye Of Hate (please crit)

[AshesOfHate]

The Eye Of Hate
Standing alone in silence *silence*
Seeing a light of madness*madness*
Feelling my fate go by me*by me*
The Eye of hate cant find me*****

I am waiting for moonlight
Being blinded by Starlight
I enterd your path of vision
Your vision of Hate
Hate, Hate, hate, HATE!

I am a Unified Fighter
i will never be divided
Until my hatred is over

(scream) I feel the fixation of your gaze
Pulsating hate and making war-games
Enter hate and exit light
guide me to the starry night

Downfall! Of your Sanctum
End all! Hatred you can find
I will!Show you power
and end your blackened Terror

I have the aura that blinds*NOT YOU*
Your Hate does not afect me
you will never desicrate me

[AshesOfHate]

come on people please crit mine i will crit yours

[morrissey]

It doesn't appeal to me, doesn't sound like something I would listen to...

Lyrically, it has been done before, there is nothing really original in here.. Not the worst, but your subject matter bores me :upset:

[Vaelroth]

Hmm, I like the inclusion of three line stanzas as well as the quatrains. It adds a little flavor to it. Sadly its the same thing that most people write, and I know I'm guilty of it as well. Its a good start to something that could be elaborated upon. 50/100.

[AshesOfHate]

thanks ya but i havnt been on this site for so long i dont care if its done before i mean the music will be differnt but i get what your saying thanks for hounesty i like when people tell the truth