Many will try, EVERYONE will win

[Understanding In a Crash]

For the first time really I directed a song to one person, and it's a girl I met from work. Referred to throughout the song is this theme and I actually tried really hard to make this song optimistic and not the emo cliche thing. In the end I think it hurt it BAD. Well...

Many will try, EVERYONE will win

Ten and twelve A.M.’s mark the new beginning’s on these weekends
Punching in and sensing doubt
Punching out and faring well
One thing this number 2 pencil can never erase
Is the girl in my thoughts with such a pretty face
My stray light eyes avoid a big situation
No eye contact can level a simple conversation.

Time and distance dance around the calendar versus the clock
The months, they don’t mean so much but these hours together do
Just wishing that I could be something more important to you
Maybe someday, I’ll make something
We can give it a try.
I just hope it happens,
Before we have to say our goodbyes.

Throughout the time that’s given
In an eight hour span
I’ll be gently gliding along the floor
Catching a glimpse of her brown hair.
I wonder what she dreams about
I wonder if she cares
I just wonder if she’d like to join me in a night without despair

Time and distance dance around the calendar versus the clock
The months, they don’t mean so much but these hours together do
Just wishing that I could be something more important to you
Maybe someday, I’ll make something
We can give it a try.
I just hope it happens,
Before we have to say our goodbyes.

There are some things that I wish that I could say
But I know that this is not the correct time of day.
Maybe what you say is simply just what you really mean
Or maybe what I can’t seem to say to you is all that I mean
When I go to bed for days before these
I’ll always think and look forward to this beautiful girl’s grace.

Time and distance dance around the calendar versus the clock
The months, they don’t mean so much but these hours together do
Just wishing that I could be something more important to you
Maybe someday, I’ll make something
We can give it a try.
I just hope it happens,
Before we have to say our goodbyes.

The heart knows nothing of time
it does not follow circumstantial song or rhyme
Your heart tells you what to pursue..
What you want to see it through…

[morrissey]

hmm, I like you better when you're emo :upset:

Not a bad song, its just nothing spectacular either. Not much else to say, sorry :(

[Understanding In a Crash]

When I first wrote this it felt so bland really, I tried editting it and it kind of made things worse. It also feels more like a poem.. this is usually why I can't write two songs so close together in time :(

[morrissey]

haha.. there are some good elements, but it just feels like its been done before, you know what I mean?

[Understanding In a Crash]

haha.. there are some good elements, but it just feels like its been done before, you know what I mean?
Yea, It seems like the more hurt I am the better they come out. If I try and make a "happy/positive" song it makes myself and the song bleed out in fakeness in a way. I think I'll be giving this to the girl its about, I just wish it was better. :(

[morrissey]

hey if I got a song like that, and I knew it came from the heart, I would go out with you in a second :D... give it to her :)

[A_Perfect_Sonnet]

i have to say one thing
WHOA, WAIT, DONT GIVE IT TO HER.. SHE WILL THINK YOU ARE WEIRD, ESPECIALLY IF YOU DONT KNOW HER ALL THAT LONG

trust me...

[morrissey]

I assumed that you were friends with her etc. If she is a stranger, ya that would be kind of weird. But if you know her well enough, sure.

[Understanding In a Crash]

APS brings up a good point, but I'm kind of friends with her I guess you could say so. I don't know if she'd be surprised really I wouldn't know how she'd react but I'm up for risk.

[A_Perfect_Sonnet]

well ive heard stories of guys giving their girlfriends love songs or w/e, and if you write DIRECTLY to them, they get freaked out and break up with you or stop talking to you... and its true, so maybe give her a love song that you didnt write directly to her?

[A_Perfect_Sonnet]

ive talked this over with a few girls i know also, who think it is creepy.

just trying to keep you on the playing field with her :thumb:

[Understanding In a Crash]

Yea dude, you really scared me straight into thinking this over for a long time now. :upset:

[morrissey]

or maybe you could just talk to her?

[A_Perfect_Sonnet]

that also works, didnt mean to scare you... just trying to keep her from being scared off :(

[Understanding In a Crash]

or maybe you could just talk to her?
I do though, it's just I don't know I thought it'd be thoughtful if I did this she'd like it but now I'm in doubt. I wouldn't want to ruin something because of a song that I wrote in a few hours :upset: . I thought it'd be something good though I don't know now.

[A_Perfect_Sonnet]

hey, you could always try, but i can tell you that could be one of the possibilities

but like this one girl i wrote a song to, that i didnt actually care about, she just said "thats awesome" and didnt even read it, so you never know. lol

[Understanding In a Crash]

I know she'd read it and now I'm in question of how she'll react. Maybe like you guys said she'll be weirded out and not talk to me again. One idea I had was to just give it to her, and not SAY its about her, but I think shes SMART enough to know that it is about her. I don't know I'm going to go to bed thinking this over now :thumb:

[morrissey]

hey, you could always try, but i can tell you that could be one of the possibilities

but like this one girl i wrote a song to, that i didnt actually care about, she just said "thats awesome" and didnt even read it, so you never know. lol

aww, that really sucks. *feels sorry for A perfect sonnet :upset:*

[morrissey]

I know she'd read it and now I'm in question of how she'll react. Maybe like you guys said she'll be weirded out and not talk to me again. One idea I had was to just give it to her, and not SAY its about her, but I think shes SMART enough to know that it is about her. I don't know I'm going to go to bed thinking this over now :thumb:

Haha... as long as the decision you make in the end is the one you want ot make, you don't want her to reject you and then think "Man, I shouldn't have listen to that Morrissey character on the internet"... just do what feels right. '

/end Dr. Phil speech :D

[apromisingyear]

I don't know...The writing is great but sometimes it rhymes so frequently that it sound kinda cliche. you know? It's pretty nice though.

ABOUT THIS GIRL...
Okay, you can give it to her, you can not give it to her, you can tell her how you feel or you can do nothing at all. What to do? I believe you only live once and what if she quits or gets fired? You may never see her again. The choice on what to do has to come from you for it to feel right. Don't listen to us because we may not have made the proper descision and the only one person who can is you because no one knows this girl the way you do because you have a relationship with her that not another co-worker, or bestfriend has. In all honesty they may KNOW her but not KNOW her in your shoes. Examine the possibilities and choose an answer. FOLLOW YOUR HEART! (Don't forget to include the brain)

BEST OF LUCK :thumb: :chug: :smoke:

[Cipher Hour]

hey, you could always try, but i can tell you that could be one of the possibilities

but like this one girl i wrote a song to, that i didnt actually care about, she just said "thats awesome" and didnt even read it, so you never know. lol

I know how that is. I can remember writing a poem/love song to a girl I had been going out with for a few months. I spent weeks on making the lyrics perfect and working with the lead guitarist of my band to help write some acoustic parts to go along with it. I presented it to her and she gave me a look that pretty much said "Yeah, I'm not impressed". All that effort and care with no pay off whatsoever. It's not easy standing up and singing with an acoustic guitar behind you with your heart on your sleave. Oh well, **** that bitch. I dumped her *** a few days later. :thumb:

[Mark. A]

Nothing great.

[Understanding In a Crash]

I definitely think I'm going to hold off now since you all decided to share your horror stories now :thumb:

[morrissey]

Nothing great.

Don't you love posts like these?

Why don't you like it? What would use suggest to improve it?

[AshesOfHate]

okay your first verse doesnt seem like its about a girl untill the line with suck a pretty face Time and distance dance around the calendar versus the clock
The months, they don’t mean so much but these hours together do
Just wishing that I could be something more important to you
Maybe someday, I’ll make something
We can give it a try.
I just hope it happens,
Before we have to say our goodbyes.
(this is the best line in this verse it the rest desnt really go anywhere)

It seams as if your last line are the better one the others are a little dull

There are some things that I wish that I could say
But I know that this is not the correct time of day.
Maybe what you say is simply just what you really mean
Or maybe what I can’t seem to say to you is all that I mean

thouse are good the other 2 dont fit
Great way to end the song though its not great but n0t bad ill give it a 6.5/10