Snow....

[Elfy]

Snow, falls and falls,
To the spiral of where I find myself standing tall,
Snow melts,
And washes away my tears,
Until the day I lose all my fear.

Chorus:
Fear, and completion
Deletion and explanation
Fear, and denial
My heart…on trial?

Through the dark,
And the constant talk.
I find myself,
Lost under the blanket of snow.
Finding myself not wanting to come above.

Where all the troubles,
And the pain is,
Where movement doesn’t stop,
And I’m on a train collision to nowhere.
I’ll stay here, looking over at the white,
Where no dark will stop it gleaming.

Chorus:
Fear, and completion
Deletion and explanation
Fear, and denial
My heart…on trial?

Under the stars, the snow shines,
And I try my best to tread the line.
Where my feelings are only mine,
And I finally think I’ll come through this, just fine.

I’ll grasp out my hand,
Holding onto something not there.
For the cold to snap me back,
And my heart is the only thing on demand.

[morrissey]

Not to bad, I like what you are trying to say... sort of reminds me of a u2 song, probably talking about snow, but not really.

I don't like the chorus though.. the "on trial" part, I assume you added the quesiton mark because you weren't sure if it fit (?) but ya, it definitely doesn't work. The rest isn't half bad though.

Overall 6.5/10 because of chorus

[guitarmaniattic]

"To the spiral of where I find myself standing tall"? That line needs a lot of help. Maybe " lands on the point where I used to stand tall". That sounds better. I give it a 6.5/10 because of that line.

[timbalesgirl]

I like this song. I did like also the chorus, but Im no pro in this, so you should probably just mind what the others have said. Good work, though some rhymes for me were a little confusing, but Im no one to talk about that.

(pls crit mine)