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BlastFunk03
11-13-2004, 11:06 AM
(Verse 1)
Their new summer school rivals
Storing .45s in ancient bibles
Bloody bike chains
And samurai rhythms breath rust
Like werewolves aware of second lust
Ash covered zombie lips
Kissed by witches from the apocalypse
Predicted like ancient text on fallen gulls
Rests like fire on steel skulls

(Bridge)
And a row of black dropped Cadillac's
Fill up the line
And a hundred chrome spokes
Reflect the crime

(Chorus)
Pharaoh's never look down
The new kings ride in black chariots
Their enemy's fill the ground
The new kings ride in black chariots

(Verse 2)
At Night it's a winter heat
Neon pyramids rise from the street
Theirs scrapped biblical legends
Written in Dutch
Of noose hung ninjas
Cold to the touch
Masked traitors of a fad generation
Rest in a river for the trend federation

(Bridge)
Ghosts of foot soldiers
Boil in their crypts
Ghosts of murdered dons
Rule with flesh rips

(Chorus)
Pharaoh's never look down
The new kings ride in black chariots
Their enemy's fill the ground
The new kings ride in black chariots

sketchyjoe
11-13-2004, 12:11 PM
I really liked the imagery and the way you combined different cultures into one mostly cohesive picture. Some of the rhymes could use a bit of work (lips, apocalypse) and the structure and rhyme scheme is a bit strange although it generally flows well. 7/10

BlastFunk03
11-13-2004, 08:35 PM
yeah i was aiming for that

morrissey
11-14-2004, 12:02 AM
one song a day, that's the rules... would crit but I already did your other one. It just clogs up the first page, other people have a right to be there to, with 500+ posts you should know that by now :thumb:

BlastFunk03
11-17-2004, 04:11 PM
bump