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View Full Version : Turn of the tide (Crit's wanted!!!! Please!)


AVIATOR
11-12-2004, 06:45 PM
Ok her it is! Please let me know what you think as the song'll be recorded in two weeks!


Verse 1:Standing at the end your spirit’s floating through the air.
Break away the ice, and come into the priestess lair.

Bridge 1:Noone before you has stepped inside this realm,
fill the sails with fire, the devils at the helm.

Verse 2:Please take my hand I’ll lead you to the open road.
Leave the life you led, ’cause you won’t need it anymore.

Bridge 2Kiss the fangs of pearly white, watch them sinking in.
Venom running through your veins, welcome to my lust domain.

Chorus:turn of the tide, the gates are open wide.
Won’t you turn the key, solve the endless mystery.
Turn of the tide, nowhere left to hide.
Look me in the eye and let your soul slip away.

Verse 3:Drenched in sweat you realize, nightmares are your friend.
Was it all a dream, will I await you at the end?

Bridge 3:As you rise you wonder will you ever be the same,
you have gone beyond the truth, where the fool meets the sane.

Chorus x 2

thirdeyeblindislit
11-13-2004, 07:59 PM
Ok well heres what I think.

One is there are alot of bridges but that could always be fixed. I'm not sure what this song is about or how you would go about singing it. It has some really good word placements and some really good rhymes but something's a miss. Anyway good job and keep working on it. 4/10.

morrissey
11-14-2004, 12:37 AM
I thought I already critiqued this song??