benevelent photography

[hightio]

just improvd a name to sorta get the point across.. took a few philosophy classes and trying to think outside the box a little. crit plz. hopefully you get what im tryin to say

pictures give a jaded view of the truth lying in the past
good memories frozen forever in time with nothing to contrast
we all like to pretend we've lived the best we can
our memories distort themselves , hold our happiness in hand

when loneliness consumes you, you eyes finally allow you to see
choices you've made in your life, the emptiness made you free
still spinning on a complex web instead of climbing over walls
orbiting around our sanity, gives you a clear view of it all

Ignorance is wonderful when you don't know what knowledge truly is
some of us don't care to learn, wading in eternal bliss
petrified of the consequences, walk through the door and meet yourself

Everyone's hiding something, some have grown better at the game
buried emotions so deeply, an attempt to suppress pain
Are you tired of hiding yet? We always hide from ourselves the best
Feigning your normality, place a deadbolt on your chest

{chorus}
We forgot most things for a reason
acknowledge portions of the past
tommorow will soon be yesterday
freedom's here at last

[morrissey]

This is a pretty good song, although some of the rhymes could use work. Specifically the first one (past/contrast), the second line isn't natural. You wouldn't normally end the sentence with contrast, (perhaps with nothing to contrast it to/against), so it sounds alittle awkward.

But overall, it has some good flow, easy to read. One small note: there is a pronoun switch in the song from you to we back to you, I suggest sticking with one, but I suppose it doesn't really matter

OVerall 7.5/10

[hightio]

One small note: there is a pronoun switch in the song from you to we back to you, I suggest sticking with one, but I suppose it doesn't really matter

OVerall 7.5/10

yeah i sorta confused myself with that one. **** philosophy. but thx for crit.. i guess ill just try to elaborate its something of a unique topic and i dont know how well i did at describing it. just thought its odd how alot people's memory of their past is based upon photographs, and 99% of the time these photographs represent only the happy memories, because why would someone want to remember the bad ones. so to someone who lives solely in a world provided by the pictures of who they used to be (say a faded high school football star or a soldier off in a war) its very easy to get lost in an alternate reality thats all in your head based upon the positive reflections you inflict upon yourself through these little pieces of paper. and once the realization hits you that all they are is pieces of paper , that you did have bad times in your life and aren't the man in the pictures anymore, it can be pretty crushing to someone who relies solely on that state of mind to carry their self esteem... i donno if thats any clearer but hopefully ill get some more crits now thanks.

[morrissey]

good explanation.. .I like your theme, and you do a good job of getting it across in your song (at least I think so :)).

[hightio]

come on guys need some input please ill crit yours if you crit mine