Lanore

[tellyourfriends9]

this song actually got me second place for $10,000 on poetry.com, but lemme know whta u guys think:


LANORE


This love
If that’s what you call it
I’ve got a ghost
You’ve got your gun
That’s all you wanted
Since I’ve repeated
Help me pray for those departed
I’ve got a fever, let me know if you caught it
My morphine
I never knew it
But I guess something got started
Guess what’s in my hands, I know how much you want it
My broken heart
My broken Skin
I know, I saw it
I hope you know
I hate it because you flaunt it
My morphine
This one’s mine
You can have it, I don’t want it
Check your pulse before you leave
Watch me breath
It’s my morphine

[morrissey]

Not terrible, but still very generic... it's been done a million times before. But nothing that stands out as being amazing or disastrous.

It does seem a little short though, I'm not sure how it goes with music, but you might want to consider expanding it.

Congrats on the 2nd place though :thumb:

Overall 7/10

[A_Perfect_Sonnet]

poetry.com is such a scam and a joke :\

[morrissey]

never heard of it...