Fraudulent

[factor46]

This is a short little thing I wrote. It can be used as a poem, or a hardcore song. (I'm not sure yet) :D Please tell me what you think.



Fraudulent

So go sit on your throne,
And act as you have a face,
As I sit here content,
Clasping hands with your enemy,
But you spew your so-called wisdom,
Atop the heads of the sleeping,
And this time I won’t listen,
But I will join them in their slumber.

[factor46]

bump.


come on guys. crit me! :D

[espf-250htd06]

cool
short i have to admit but who cares good idea i like stuff thats different some of the lines are out there and make ya think but thats not a bad thing in some cases in ur genre it anit anyway 7/10 check out my song past desires

[factor46]

bump. again.

[Linsey]

erm. its ok. but as its so short, theres little to "get into". that said, i like the flow of the piece. the wording and the way it reads really mirrors the anger/resentment in the poem/song. it sounds angry when read... which is cool.

however, it seems like a political type song.... and they REALLY annoy me... but thats my opinion.

overall, its ok. although short pieces do work sometimes, i think this needs to be longer.

[factor46]

nah. no politics. i dont care about politics. they annoy me as well.


the only reason its so short, is because its an instrumental song. its actually 6:37 in length, and about 80% of it is no singing. so....thats why. :D


anymore? hopefully. :D

[Linsey]

it seems VERY politcal to me... what is it about?