constructive critism needed

[Khanzo]

thanks for the info guys it will be changed shortly

[~The Wise One~]

you need to make it longer and include a chorus....btw is the music soft or hard?

[Steerpike]

I cant help the way i feel
when will these wounds you left heal
All i do is think about you
Your in my mind whatever i do

The rhyme scheme's killing me here. AABB has sadly been used so many times that many are tired of hearing it. The only band I know of that uses that in some of their songs and makes it work are Manowar.

The choice of words themselves have actually become cliche in modern music which has been over-saturated in angst.

I lay awake at night
thinking about how to win this fight
against my remaining sanity
why do i have no vanity

This one doesn't seem to click. It's not really the structure so much as the way you phrase the lines. The third for example strikes me as odd. Why would you fight against your own sanity?

I don't know, it just leaves me in the dark.

You are the vision of my eye
with out you i barely get by
what can i do to get you
to feel the same way i do

The first two lines sounded a little forced. I don't know, maybe it's just me.

It's a good start, but you need to work on the rhyme scheme and structure a little bit and watch your choice of words. You're often too blunt, so try spicing it up with some sort of creative imagery or metaphor.