A Glimpse of the Sun

[bassaholica2004]

This is a kinda personal song about my view on life. Kinda dark and gloomy, but I like it. Please tell me what you think about it.



The years are burned away,
Memory seems to fade.
Darkness entangles me,
But my mind still remains.

Behind this prison of glass,
I weep and rage.
Weep for the death that will not come,
There seems no other way.

In my mind I see you,
Gray, withered, and old.
But nothing can ever save me,
From the emptiness of my soul.

For now and ever I am gone,
Dark as darkness can be.
A shadow of who I was,
Damned to wander eternity.

Three plagues arise:
Heart, soul, and mind.
Searching for the happiness,
That I will never find.

I've been trapped here for so long,
Darkness my only friend.
Awaiting the impossibe;
For eternity to end.

Again I see you,
Death in desguise.
The crystal wall seperates life,
The truth from my lies.

Eternity has passed,
But still yet hasn't begun.
All I ever, ever wanted,
Was a glimpse of the sun.

[donotruninfrontofcars]

I like the use of symbolism, and the very personal nature of the song. Being new to this...I can't really find much wrong with it. Good work!

[bassaholica2004]

Any more?

[bassaholica2004]

Is it that bad?

[IOWNU200]

NO it is not that bad, I thought it was ****ing brilliant. The only suggestion I have is the word "weep" dosen't seem to go well with me, especially twice in one verse. I loved this though. And besides the third to last verse, which is ok in my opinion, it's ****ing brilliant

[espf-250htd06]

last half is good first half sucked idk if that was on purpose but it looked like totally diffrent wrighting on the bottom half good song overall but defintly needs work on first half

7/10 check out my songs past desires or cant see me through the wall and tell me what you think

[maggotfelon]

I liked it overall. So here's a quick list of parts I didn't care for:

"I weep and rage."

"But nothing can ever save me,
From the emptiness of my soul."

"Dark as darkness can be."

"The crystal wall seperates life,
The truth from my lies." - I don't think the first line leads into the last one very well.

"but still yet hasn't begun." - I'd reword this part.

"Three plagues arise:
Heart, soul, and mind." -- These 2 lines I fvckin loved.

[maggotfelon]

Check this out for me when u get a chance:
http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=258346

[StormX]

I really like it. There are a few parts I don't care for though, such as :

"I weep and rage.
Weep for the death that will not come,
There seems no other way."

The first line of that verse is good, but I don't like the above lines, espically the word weep.

I also think the word darkness is overused in the song.

Other than that, great song, I like the personal feel to it.
8/10