thats the world spinning (i think haha)

[TheGreatestView]

okay, im 0/2 and this is my last chance (for now), again my other songs in this series are "frost bite" and "untitled" <(thread titles) if you wanna dig em up. but please tell me what you think of this one.

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(thats the world spinning)
youre not makin any sense
is it gonna be now or never
it doesn’t seem like it makes too much sense to go left or right
when straight has a view of both sides
so make up your mind even if it doesnt make any sense
is it gonna be now or never
is it gonna be now or never

youve got to give it up eventually
nothins gonna stay the same anyways
thats the world spinning
thats a day and a night

we went from the shore to the porch and back again
should we follow the footsteps in the sand or make our own
im on my way but god i dont know where the hell i am

its hard to tell the truth when you dont want to believe it
but youve got to give it up eventually
its hard to tell the truth from a memory
when you dont want to believe, it’s in the past anyways
but you cant forget everything
youll always remember that you cant forget everything

thats the world spinning
thats a day and a night

[Deathapalooza04]

Perhaps the 3rd time really is a charm.
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(thats the world spinning)
youre not makin any sense<you're
is it gonna be now or never<is this a question? if so it needs a question mark
it doesn’t seem like it makes too much sense to go left or right
when straight has a view of both sides
so make up your mind even if it doesnt make any sense<doesn't
is it gonna be now or never
is it gonna be now or never<another question?

youve got to give it up eventually<you've
nothins gonna stay the same anyways<nothing's
thats the world spinning<that's. But, maybe "that is" would work better?
thats a day and a night<that's

we went from the shore to the porch and back again
should we follow the footsteps in the sand or make our own
im on my way but god i dont know where the hell i am<capital I's, I'm, don't.

*^^favorite verse. Foot prints might make more sense than foot steps...?*

its hard to tell the truth when you dont want to believe it<it's,don't
but youve got to give it up eventually<you've
its hard to tell the truth from a memory<it's
when you dont want to believe, it’s in the past anyways<don't
but you cant forget everything<can't
youll always remember that you cant forget everything<you'll,can't

thats the world spinning<that's. "that is" might fit better...?
thats a day and a night<ditto

***********************

I like it because it's true.

All it needs is a little punctuation and perhaps a little minor tweaking and I think It could be very good.

If you did not want a full review and rather just an opinion on it, well, my bad.

[TheGreatestView]

ahhahah thanks for the "english teacher review." yeah, footprints would make more sense. thanks dude.

[Deathapalooza04]

Heh. Sorry about that. It's just easier to read if it's punctuated. Of course, since it's a song it only has to be readable by the singer. Anyways, keep it up.

[TheGreatestView]

hah, no need to apologize.