Pledge of Hatred

[ArtistInTheAmbulence]

Did I ever tell you your the worst thing thats happened to me?
Have I ever said that your the last person Id want to be?
I guess the things that I feel,
Are not the things that are real.
I guess the things that I feel,
Are not the things that are real.

You wear personallities,
Like I wear shoes.
You just pick the one,
that fits the person you abuse.
Now I know,
That thats all I can take.
So just get that,
You are a fake.

Do you understand that your the biggest bitch Ive ever meet.
Can you realize that I was actually your best bet.
I guess the things that you feel,
Are now the things that are real.
I guess the things that you feel,
Are now the things that are real.

You are a doppleganger
A reason for my anger.

[TheBlackAcidChildren]

Did I ever tell you your the worst thing thats happened to me?
Have I ever said that your the last person Id want to be?
I guess the things that I feel,
Are not the things that are real.
I guess the things that I feel,
Are not the things that are real.
I'm not sure about the rhythm of this passage, but the repeated lines seem a little strained. The "me" and "be" rhyme is old, but it's not used badly.

You wear personallities,
Like I wear shoes.
You just pick the one,
that fits the person you abuse.
Good line. That's a good use of imagery there...
Now I know,
That thats all I can take.
So just get that,
You are a fake.
...let down by these lines. This is kinda weak. "so just get that, you are a fake" loses all the power from the other lines above.

Do you understand that your the biggest bitch Ive ever meet. I assume you mean "met".
Can you realize that I was actually your best bet.
Seems a little weak, but it's ok.
I guess the things that you feel,
Are now the things that are real.
I guess the things that you feel,
Are now the things that are real.
Same comment here as for the first time these lines appear.

You are a doppleganger
A reason for my anger.
The last two words, though spelt the same, do not rhyme precisely. It'd be a strong ending, but the G in "Doppelganger" is not said the same as the G from "anger".

A few things to think about.

[A_Perfect_Sonnet]

Did I ever tell you your the worst thing thats happened to me?
Have I ever said that your the last person Id want to be?
I guess the things that I feel,
Are not the things that are real.
I guess the things that I feel,
Are not the things that are real.

--the repetition was pointless at the end, because in the way i pictured it, it sounds like chanting. already i can tell its another "i hate you" song :\.

You wear personallities,
Like I wear shoes.
You just pick the one,
that fits the person you abuse.
Now I know,
That thats all I can take.
So just get that,
You are a fake.

--most of your lines dont connect, and dont make sense. i didnt like the rhymes, they were pretty boring and predictable.

Do you understand that your the biggest bitch Ive ever meet.
Can you realize that I was actually your best bet.
I guess the things that you feel,
Are now the things that are real.
I guess the things that you feel,
Are now the things that are real.

--you could throw this verse out and it wouldnt hurt. it just made me feel stupid reading it. the repetition again takes away from it, and the first two lines are just overused and felt childish.

You are a doppleganger
A reason for my anger.

--a doppleganger a double of someone else, how is this person your double? you dont say anywhere that he or she copied you. it was the completely wrong word to use. maybe one that last line you mean "the reason for..." instead of "a"? that would make a lot more sense, since you are writing this to 1 person.

this had an angsty teenager feel to it, there was really nothing eye opening in here, and the rhyme scheme was pretty dull. i felt no connection to your writing, just sort of "yeah hes pissed off, so what?" to sum it up, this didnt feel very developed, and maybe a rewrite could help.

3/10

PS, you spelled ambulance wrong