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russdvdsn
10-26-2004, 06:40 PM
alright,, i think this is my second or third song that i've posted,, so, so brutely honest crits are welcomed! thanks!

Back up

its all just a part of the picture now
its all just a lie
its all just what could of been
if seen through different eyes

Pre Chorus:
and what if the blind could see
what if time did not erase
and what if i coulndt leave
what if i was bound to this

CHORUS:
all i wanted is gone
gone forever, and i long
to see my soul flying higher
till it breaks
iam only going to say this one time
i guess that i'll just back up and leave
back up and leave
and all this fragrence reminds me that i should
back up and leave
just back up and leave

no, theres no turning back now
cant take back what you said
the images of you leaving
i reply in my head

Pre Chorus

Chorus2x

alright tell me what you think! thanks again! later

drumtracks
10-26-2004, 07:10 PM
I really like the flow of this one. It has a good feel to it and I can tell you have done this before. I'm not so sure i like the last phrase "I reply in my head". I would suggest using a different word than "reply".

Good Job
drumtracks
http://www.TartarDrumStudios.com


alright,, i think this is my second or third song that i've posted,, so, so brutely honest crits are welcomed! thanks!

Back up

its all just a part of the picture now
its all just a lie
its all just what could of been
if seen through different eyes

Pre Chorus:
and what if the blind could see
what if time did not erase
and what if i coulndt leave
what if i was bound to this

CHORUS:
all i wanted is gone
gone forever, and i long
to see my soul flying higher
till it breaks
iam only going to say this one time
i guess that i'll just back up and leave
back up and leave
and all this fragrence reminds me that i should
back up and leave
just back up and leave

no, theres no turning back now
cant take back what you said
the images of you leaving
i reply in my head

Pre Chorus

Chorus2x

alright tell me what you think! thanks again! later

russdvdsn
10-26-2004, 08:56 PM
yeah that was just a typo,, its sopposed to be replay,, sry about that,, maybe reading it with replay will make it sound more,,,, right i guess,, alright,, later
russell