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bassaholica2004
10-24-2004, 03:58 AM
I was listening to the song Sign of a Storm by Skepticism, and these thoughts came rushing at me. Its a VERY depressing song (maybe thats why its Funeral Doom Metal :confused: ), and great to write to. Anyway, heres a song about the time I was going through some personal things with religion, and finally led me to Atheism.



I waited for you,
But you never came.
Glory to the death,
I mean nothing to you.

A mindless torture victim,
Hollow from my cries.
Not an answer; Never an answer,
I am nothing.

I am meaningless,
No use or purpose to you.
A life to play hate with,
Despair lines my thoughts.

Thoughts of better times,
Before my final departure.
Things were never so hard,
Life was never so bleak.

Night after night I call for you,
Please, answer me!
But I get NOTHING,
Which is all I'll ever be.

Why am I here?
You have no use of me.
Tease me with the glimpses,
Of the light so far away.

Light I can never feel,
Happiness I can never know.
Return me to Oblivion,
Where black consumes all.

No more pain or despair,
No more day, Eternal night.
Let me sleep forever,
In my solitary box,
In the cold, hard ground.

sliver
10-24-2004, 10:16 AM
It's not bad... but the song doesn't go anywhere. The whole song you talk about yourself, or whoever it is; yet you don't really state why or how you came to feel this way. In this way it makes the lyrics or poem, impersonal and hard to really get into. It's almost way too cliche` :p try to put some real experiance in the song, even if we can't understand it, I always love cryptic lyrics.

CrashingDown213
10-24-2004, 11:01 AM
I agree, the song doesn't really go anywhere, you just talk about yourself and God, and why you turned to atheism.
A good thing about it though, is that you can find the meaning behind it, its hard to do that with some songs on the forum.
It also sounded more like a poem to a song, but you may already have music to it, if so, that doesn't really matter too much.
You also use the word 'nothing' way too much.
This was alright, but I think it could use some rewording to make it more exciting.
5.5/10