PDA

View Full Version : unedited but it's almost there


TheGreatestView
10-22-2004, 11:18 PM
again with the bad title haha. but anyways this one hasn't been touched editing wise, this is fresh off the press so it'll probly be worked on but after i wrote it i ahsd this good feeling about it, tell me what you think though please..

One more deadline before we close our eyes
One more sunset, one less sunrise
One last night underneath the stars
And I swear to God
The man in the moon waved good bye

A heart can beat even if the soul is dead
You can lay down with angels
Even though you’re dealin with devils

The trees swayed and the wind was too much
For my eyelids and I started to cry
What’s wrong with me what’s wrong with us
Standing still’s never been enough
Even though we all know we’ve been floating this whole time

One more deadline before we close our eyes
One more sunset, one less sunrise
One last night underneath the stars
And I swear to God
The man in the moon waved good bye

A heart can beat even if the soul is dead
You can lay down with angels
Even though you’re dealin with devils

Tried to mark the path with memories
But I’m no good with remembering
What’s better forgotten
There’s no use recalling the useless

We’ve been floating all along
Standing still and we’ve been floating all along

TheGreatestView
10-24-2004, 06:41 PM
rough times.

espf-250htd06
10-24-2004, 06:47 PM
awesome dude you take a simi cliche but defintly not been done to many times subject (but once by linkin park in a big way) and thats mainstream, but theres nothign wrong with that special if you present it like this awesome job i can tell you put some thought into it

The trees swayed and the wind was too much
For my eyelids and I started to cry

thats really only line i dont like to much the rest are good

8/10 crit my song level ground thanks cya

TheGreatestView
10-24-2004, 08:41 PM
nice thanks man. yeah those two lines are a bit awkward, ill work em out. thanks again.