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threemoresteps
10-22-2004, 04:19 PM
V1:You made my heart beat,
you made my eyes shine...
throught the end of night,
You-Are-One-Of-A-Kind

V2:You the light in my heart,
the rain in my soul...
after all the toughts I had,
Just-Give-Me-A-Call

V3:Your made my anger,
you made my life live...
in three seconds of hope,
I-Dont-Care-A-n-y-m-o-r-e

V4:All the hope that I had,
was blown like a fether...
All the love that I gave,
You-Just-Made-Me-Go-Crazaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Chorus:Its always the same chorus,
the fether I had as gone away...
The girl that made me go crazaaa,
Blew it all anyway"



This is my 5th lyric in 10min, enjoy

iTim387
10-22-2004, 04:21 PM
Umm....this needs a lot of work. You might want to spend a little more time on your writing. The whole thing is extremely cliched and there isn't really a clear flow or rhyme scheme. Work on the english as well, there are a lot of typos and grammatical errors. 3/10

Please crit my latest. Thanks.

threemoresteps
10-22-2004, 04:25 PM
OK i will but am french thats why their is so many errors. + it took me 10min to wrote it and it was writing into the thread!