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View Full Version : How Does It Feel - Crit ?


Crowley5150
10-21-2004, 07:34 PM
This song is from the band i've joined. They had the song written but the singer didnt like singing it, so i've taken on the vocal duties for the song, kept it musically and re-written the lyrics. Its kind of a bouncy alternative rock balladish song.

--------------------------------------------
How Does It Feel
2004 The Everlones
--------------------------------------------

[Verse]
You're confused by the way you look at me
...and in your eyes
I can see, that you're still in love with me
... yeah, you can't hide.

[Bridge]
I can see myself
falling down from the sky
'cause you're walking away
from my life

[Verse]
I'm amused, that you said you'd never leave
... well look at you now
It's okay, cause I know that i'll move on
.... some way some how

[Bridge]
I can see myself
rising up from the ground
cause now im walking away
with my life

[Chorus]
(So tell me) How does it feel?
How does it feel.....
To be on your own.

[Solo/Instrumental]

[Bridge]
I can see myself
rising up from the ground
cause now im walking away
with my life

[Chorus]
(So tell me) How does it feel?
How does it feel.....
To be on your own.

--------------------------------------------


Any comments will be appreciated. If you want a listen to a very VERY rough recording, check out this thread.
http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=254726

whydoesitmatter2u
10-21-2004, 08:27 PM
Hmm. luv being the first one to crit things. :)
Alright, so this was..average.
It just seemed very basic- average ideas, everyday wording.
(I don't mean to be harsh or anything, im just brutally honest. its a character flaw lol.)
Anyway, if I were you, i'd use more abstract ways to express the ideas in it- be a little subtler instead of so blunt.
Maybe make the verses slightly longer, so you can make them more complex.
Well, that's just my opinion! hope it's helpful!
ChEeRs!
~ If you'd stop by and crit mine; empty corners, i'd really appreciate it! :) ~

espf-250htd06
10-21-2004, 08:36 PM
lol sorry man but it just sounds like everyother love song to me to have a love song these days and it be good or diffrent its gota have some awesome writing keep trying 5/10 crit my song disbelief

Crowley5150
10-21-2004, 08:59 PM
It just seemed very basic- average ideas, everyday wording. (I don't mean to be harsh or anything, im just brutally honest. its a character flaw lol.)
Anyway, if I were you, i'd use more abstract ways to express the ideas in it- be a little subtler instead of so blunt.

I dunno, I appreciate the honesty. The concept of this band is to K.I.S.S. and the reasons for that is simply because..... what makes something memorable? Simplicity.

We like to look at things like... okay, what style of music are we playing. What do these more known bands do in their songs that makes them more known than others. And its simplicity. No big words, no abstract metaphors, and bizarre concepts that take you months to work out if you ever work them out at all.


Anyway, something to keep in mind... thanks.

Jezen
10-21-2004, 11:14 PM
Yeh kinda been done alot. I mean not bad, but doesnt stand out, know what I mean?
Id give it a 5/10. Can u plz take a look at 'Surreal'. thanx

Permanent Solution
10-21-2004, 11:28 PM
I dunno, I appreciate the honesty. The concept of this band is to K.I.S.S. and the reasons for that is simply because..... what makes something memorable? Simplicity.

We like to look at things like... okay, what style of music are we playing. What do these more known bands do in their songs that makes them more known than others. And its simplicity. No big words, no abstract metaphors, and bizarre concepts that take you months to work out if you ever work them out at all.


Anyway, something to keep in mind... thanks.
Simplicity may make for good songs, even great songs, but it will get you no love on this forum. What is appreciated here is everything you mentioned does not need to be included. I am not trying to be snobbish, but expect bad crits frequently if you have none of those elements.

CrashingDown213
10-22-2004, 12:08 AM
Well your chorus is almost directly out of the Bob Dylan song "How Does It Feel", but nice try.

Crowley5150
10-22-2004, 01:55 AM
Its funny because as we were writing it neither myself or the guitarist spotted it until the end. And actually, when we worked on the melodies we spotted it... not being the biggest dylan fans of all time, we decided it wouldnt be too blatant to have the melody in the first part of the chorus. I guess people on this forum frown upon this kind of thing, but I quite think it fits (if you go to the link in the original post and listen to the mp3 you will know what I mean). The song doesnt sound anything like the original, just takes a flavour of a vocal line and melody for the chorus.


Chris

espf-250htd06
10-22-2004, 02:54 PM
for example the end of heartache by killswitch engage its a love song but its totally diffrent from any other love song iver heard maybe just in format cause it uses kinda cliche words at times but its an awesome example of what a love song should be thanks for the crit check out my other song set me free