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View Full Version : -=-=- Remember -=-=-


KKinsane
10-21-2004, 09:55 AM
Its been a while since i wrote a song, heres one of two i wriote recently

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-=-=- Remember -=-=-

Remember when we parted ways,
Remember when i cryed for days,
Seamingly forever and more,
I wait for this pain to end

I want you in my life,
Cant get you the feel the same,
I want you in my sight,
To watch over you in your dreams

Remember
Remember the times I failed,
Remember
Remember the times I died


Remember when we light the way,
Remember times when I broke down,
Cant take this anymore,
I just want you back right now

I want you in my life,
Cant get you the feel the same,
I want you in my sight,
To watch over you day by day

(Remember)
Remember the times I failed,
(Remember)
Remember the times I died,
(Remember)
Remember the times I lied,
(Remember)
Remember the times I cryed...


I want you in my life,
Cant get you the feel the same,
I want you in my sight,
To watch over you day by day...

(c) Kyle.C 2004

Rate and rip, be honest im not here for the cookies lol

thedeadwalk!
10-21-2004, 03:52 PM
very nauseating. songs like this are overdone, and not even good in the first place. if you're going to write about a break up or heart ache, add some personal touches in there. gifts/dates/problems/likes/dislikes. otherwise this is just a diary entry with music, but we don't get to hear the music.

Jezen
10-21-2004, 03:59 PM
Cant get you the feel the same

Bad grammar.

To watch over you day by day

Sounds too much like that song 'Day by Day' from Godspell.

Overuse of the word remember. Kind of bland and cliche. Sorry.

Crowley5150
10-21-2004, 06:46 PM
Bad grammar..

Im new to this forum but I really find it bizarre that so many people are so exact and critical of works based on things like grammar. Look at so many songs in the past, songs that are considered brilliant and classic today. So many have phrasings in it that if you said out loud in a sentence, would sound outright stupid. But when set to music sounds totally workable.

I think it would do people on this list to look more at the lyrical feel, vibe and emotional content rather than looking at it as a university essay.


Overuse of the word remember. Kind of bland and cliche. Sorry.

Hell.... did you count the number of times The Beatles sang "She loves you... Yeah... Yeah... Yeah" in the song ?


I must admit that lyrical content like this isnt my thing usually, and I personally don't take to lyrics with a downbeat feel like this. But having said that I think that the lyrics posted here would be well set to the kinds of music that are around these days with similar lyrical content. I think it has the makings of something that could be moulded quite well.