Never loving you

[Deathtoall99]

Never loving you

{Vocal intro}
All the things I've learned, I've learned the hard way.
All the words I've said, I've said the wrong way.
All the help I've had has gone away.
The light has left me, confusion's here to stay.
{/intro}


Never again would I stay away from you.
But everyday I regret saying I do
Never again would I think of harming you
But everyday I regret ever loving you


Every morning I know it's true.
Why you're gone and why I have not killed you
Open my window, breathe the fresh air
Every night, I cry, I wish you were here

I would listen to the birds and their tunes
But now I'm deaf and can only hear you
During the light, I'de stuggle, fighting the pain
And during the dark I'de fight with my self again

[solo/vocal split]
1)- My body, stained with blood from missing you
2)- My mind, stained with hate from loving you
1)- My soul, clouded with mist from this new space
2)- My heart, clouded with lust, for breaking your face


Moon and sun, blackest whites are there
In this place where my emotion won't fear
The confusion that pours through my veins
My soul decided to dismiss you again.



Everyday I know the night will be true
And every second I miss never loving you.




crit i crit back
looking for some good solid opinions

not just "its good read mine"
lol

[espf-250htd06]

i like it 7/10 could use some less simple ryhming and lyrical order idk its good but could be better check out my song called set me free thanks

[WANK86]

i give it a 10 out of 10!!!!
:thumb: :thumb: :thumb: :thumb:

[morrissey]

i give it a 10 out of 10!!!!
:thumb: :thumb: :thumb: :thumb:

STOP BUMPING OLD THREADS!! Please :)

[WANK86]

STOP BUMPING OLD THREADS!! Please :)
:wave:
im not bumping im posting and im posting that i think that this is a good so there was no need for you to come and post on here just to make fun of me for bumping this topic you just could've let it go and just not post under it!


BUT I'LL STOP!! :thumb:

my bad! :chug:

[morrissey]

:wave:
im not bumping im posting and im posting that i think that this is a good so there was no need for you to come and post on here just to make fun of me for bumping this topic you just could've let it go and just not post under it!


BUT I'LL STOP!! :thumb:

my bad! :chug:

Sorry, I wasn't making fun of you, honest.

It is just that unless you have something really constructive to add (... a little more than "I liked it 10/10"... you know what I mean), we try to let old threads die.

But no harm done :)..

:thumb:

[Diatonic Dissonance™]

{Vocal intro}
All the things I've learned, I've learned the hard way.
All the words I've said, I've said the wrong way.
All the help I've had has gone away.
The light has left me, confusion's here to stay.
{/intro}
I like that!

I would listen to the birds and their tunes
But now I'm deaf and can only hear you
During the light, I'de stuggle, fighting the pain
And during the dark I'de fight with my self again
Very effective.

[solo/vocal split]
1)- My body, stained with blood from missing you
2)- My mind, stained with hate from loving you
1)- My soul, clouded with mist from this new space
2)- My heart, clouded with lust, for breaking your face
Huh?

Also, you say "my mind, stained with hate from loving you", whereas earlier you said "every night I cry, I wish you were here". That kind of confused me.

All-in-all, just like your other song, it was nice and long without getting too boring or repetative.

Keep up the good work.