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mikeyc
09-12-2004, 08:33 PM
This is a poem i wrote a couple of years back, just wanted some feedback

The skin crumbles before me
Like a piece of sandstone,
Caught between my fingers
And the time of the stars.
To wake from the sleep
Still starved of reality,
Beckoning me back to a place
Far beyond parody.
Make it your way to be like one,
One grain of sand
In the desolate ocean
With which we strive to live
And defeat.
Make it your way,
Make it your way, to be undone,
Undone as the airborne
And the ocean flames.

hurting
07-11-2005, 12:25 PM
woah, no replies since 2004? :amaze: im suprised its a real nice poem. good use of emotive language... real good use of imagery :thumb: :D

StrangelyBrewed13
07-11-2005, 07:17 PM
Just another example that great poems dot have to rhyme. Please crit mine http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=363660