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El_Goodo
09-05-2004, 07:31 PM
He admits sometimes he gets more than a little pissed
Everybody knows that she slits her wrists
she has more problems than he has cares
but he still loves her
and thats the kinda love everyone is looking for
but she doesent know that
and he goes unoticed
And he says oooo

Chorus:
Thats life
oooooo
Thats life
oooooo
Thats life

Tuesday was the day he would finally say he loves her
Friday was the day they would go out to the movie
He got in his car that friday night at 8
and he waited till i got late
but she never did show
oooo

Chorus:
Thats life
ooooooo
Thats life
ooooooo
Thats life

He got out of bed to find out that his girl was dead
hit and run
and starting that he never did say a word again
I guess he felt there was nothing really left to say
though he still breathes
he's not living anymore
tired of being good for nothing he grabs himself a bottle
and he grows old

Chorus 2
Thats life
ooooooo
Thats life
ooooooo
Thats life

You gotta find a way to keep on movin'
It's hard I know
Even some of the best
take the easy way out
You gotta remember

Thats life
ooooooo
Thats life
ooooooo
Thats life

You gotta find a way to keep on movin'

Solo

Gotta find a way to keep on movin...
-------------------------------------------
Comments/Creative Criticsm

xKONRADx
09-05-2004, 08:02 PM
i like it. seemed like there were a few gramatical errors but the whold idea itself is good. almost reminds me of pearl jams last kiss. almost.

Baodegoth
09-05-2004, 08:05 PM
I like the message, i think it's something new. for that congrats. i'm sorry but i have to say this...CHANGE THE CHORUS!!! it's screws everything...

He got out of bed to find out that his girl was dead
hit and run
and starting that he never did say a word again
I guess he felt there was nothing really left to say
though he still breathes
he's not living anymore
tired of being good for nothing he grabs himself a bottle
and he grows old<-----imo this is the best stanza.

so overall i think it's good and it's worth 7.5/10.....however if you change the chorus(please do) it can rise up to 8/10. it's up to you, it's your song. liked the topic tho!

------------------------
could you crit? thank you:
http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=234740

Blue Light Special
09-05-2004, 10:34 PM
It rocked dude. I loved the message, loved the flow, even more loved the imagery.

KEEP UP THE AWESOME WORK.

9.9/10 (Always room for improvement. Highest score ever given by me.)

El_Goodo
09-05-2004, 11:54 PM
Yay im honored Blue Light :) Im stuck on a chorus though :( i agree its not to good...any idea's

A_Perfect_Sonnet
09-05-2004, 11:57 PM
well if everyone loves it, then i hate it... jerk :)

but actually... this song ****ing rules, i wont elaborate, because words just arent enough to explain your ability to capture "extreme awesomeness" <--quote me on that-- in your lyrics, as this song does

so 9.5/10

A_Perfect_Sonnet
09-05-2004, 11:59 PM
He admits sometimes he gets more than a little pissed

actually i did find a problem with that line, change it to:

He admits sometimes he gets a little more than pissed

its the same words, but see how much better that flowed?, and if you didnt then screw you and keep your old lyrics

El_Goodo
09-06-2004, 12:02 AM
its the same words, but see how much better that flowed?, and if you didnt then screw you and keep your old lyrics

lol i like your style

El_Goodo
09-06-2004, 06:43 PM
Anyone got any chorus idea's?

El_Goodo
09-21-2004, 04:30 PM
Bump

El_Goodo
11-16-2004, 05:08 PM
Bump I wanna hear some more comments.

morrissey
11-16-2004, 06:36 PM
Title: Sounds simple enough, it obviously fits with your chorus. nothing complicated here, just standard.

Song Structure/Flow: It flows really well, probably due to the rhymes. The chorus changes up, but it is easy to see it as a song. I could definitely see this as a pop sort of song.

Rhyming: really simple rhyming, but it doesn't sound bad or anything. It just comes off as being really simplistic, but I don't think this song would work any other way.


Imagery: This isn't one of those songs... Its just a direct statement about your view of life, nothing wrong with that. But I'm not going to try to analyse the deep meaning of your lines, because I don't believe there is a deeper meaning. But the simple lines set a stage that can't be argued.

Emotion: This, again, isn't really one of those songs. I understood what you were saying, but it didn't make me want to cry. Perhaps shrug my shoulders, tilt my head and sigh: "That's life..." at the end, but that's about it.

Best Part:
Everything but the chorus. REally simple but yuo convey a nice message.

Worst Part:
Chorus. It probably works in song form, but here, it looks terrible. But, meh.

Overall: Fun to read, easy to read, no complaints. I liked it enough, certainly isn't some deep, mysterious song, but enjoyable nonetheless.

Overall 8/10

El_Goodo
11-22-2004, 09:50 PM
Cool....I tried to do some bob dylan style writing a story.