Do you know what it is?

[EmergencyRoom]

Do you know what it is?
To have done what i've done
To never have peace
To have lost and not won
An eternal torture my soul cannot bear
To have done all these things
And to care

It always starts with a girl
It always ends in heartbreak
The more that you give
The more they’re inclined to take
So give me a story
Give me a happy ending
Give it up now
Give up the pretending
Hell won't freeze over
Hell will still be here

Do you know what it is?
To watch and not fight
To teach without knowing
To see without light
All of these horrors my pupil must face
Her demons and monsters my words can’t erase

It always starts with a girl
It always ends in heartbreak
The more that you give
The more they’re inclined to take
So give me a story
Give me a happy ending
Give it up now
Give up the pretending
Hell won't freeze over
Hell will still be here

Do you know what it is?
To face heaven then hell
To vanquish my demons
To battle a thirst never quelled
Some million choices slammed closed on me
Pulled by the tow rope of destiny

It always starts with a girl
It always ends in heartbreak
The more that you give
The more they’re inclined to take
So give me a story
Give me a happy ending
Give it up now
Give up the pretending
Hell won't freeze over
Hell will still be here

[trying]

Do you know what it is?
To have done what i've done
To never have peace
To have lost and not won
An eternal torture my soul cannot bear
To have done all these things
And to care

* okay so far all i got is u did some stuff... vague, and a bit repetitive, sry*

It always starts with a girl
It always ends in heartbreak
The more that you give
The more they’re inclined to take
So give me a story
Give me a happy ending
Give it up now
Give up the pretending
Hell won't freeze over
Hell will still be here

*this is much better than the last part, i like the hell thing, if you mean "hell will still be here" as an ironic sort of way of saying you are living in hell right now, and not just here as in still in existence*

Do you know what it is?
To watch and not fight
To teach without knowing
To see without light
All of these horrors my pupil must face
Her demons and monsters my words can’t erase

*not to be a smartass here, but i think it should be 'pupils' rather than pupil, unless you are a cyclops, or referring to a student of yours... besides that, good.*

It always starts with a girl
It always ends in heartbreak
The more that you give
The more they’re inclined to take
So give me a story
Give me a happy ending
Give it up now
Give up the pretending
Hell won't freeze over
Hell will still be here

*still good lol*

Do you know what it is?
To face heaven then hell
To vanquish my demons
To battle a thirst never quelled
Some million choices slammed closed on me
Pulled by the tow rope of destiny

*alright, no complaints here*

It always starts with a girl
It always ends in heartbreak
The more that you give
The more they’re inclined to take
So give me a story
Give me a happy ending
Give it up now
Give up the pretending
Hell won't freeze over
Hell will still be here


Not bad, i like it, but i think it needs some more, cuz u seem to have a hell of a lot of chorus and not much else, because the chorus is long, which is fine but your verses are pretty short, and there arent very many. Besides that, good job, give it a little work and it should be great. for now 7/10

Feel free to crit my stuff if u want:

http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=4248372

http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=4248315

[feedthegods666]

...seems kind of like whiny emo....but w/e some people like it

[EmergencyRoom]

Each verse is a side of the story told by a different person. It is "pupil" as in student.You got the hell bit right coz it is meant to be as in "living in hell". i cant figure a way to show that each person is a different one unless people can interperet it that way. The chorus is the main bit though. each side of the story is Meant to be short because each narrator has their own veiw but the chorus is the centrepiece that all of them feel. hope that makes it a bit easier to apprieciate. thanks for the crit. Anyone else got an opinion?

[EmergencyRoom]

...seems kind of like whiny emo....but w/e some people like it


Not even slightly emo.It's rock with solos and everything! Just because the content has emotion then it doesnt have to be emo.

[robobinobo]

sux :thumb:

[VertigoU2]

...seems kind of like whiny emo....but w/e some people like it

ok, ive had it up to here with this ****. telling a songwriter their song is emo does nothing. it doesnt help. they want you to rate the quality of the song not tell them the genre.