State of Catalepsy, looking for opinions

[perkeyset]

White lies
Cast upon us
Cover our eyes, slit our throats, and lay us down to rest

Indulged
In fake perceptions
Of what they say, that's so untrue, why can't we think for ourselves

It's the same cycle
We're still going nowhere
Running in place from an evil enemy
Let the media instill our views for us
We're mindless ****s infront of our T.V.s

...Just sit and stare

Leave it
Cause it's not going to get better
Just move on
Look forward to brighter days ahead
Put on a fake disguise
And act as if you don't realize
What's going on around us everyday

Take these
Words of wisdom
Slam them down with disregard as if you know what's best

Make up
Senseless theories
To explain why we live in a state of catalepsy

It's the same cycle
We're still going nowhere
Running in place from an evil enemy
Self-awareness lost its presence in us
Our minds drift away once again

...But who cares

Leave it
Cause it's not going to get better
Just move on
Look forward to brighter days ahead
Put on a fake disguise
And act as if you don't realize
What's going on around us everyday

[funkadelic69]

dam man thats really good. its got a good kinda rgid feel to it but in a good way. could get some good syncopated guitar in there. keep it up tho 8.5/10

[cowslick]

Leave it
Cause it’s not going to get better
Just move on
Look forward to brighter days ahead
Put on a fake disguise
And act as if you don’t realize
What’s going on around us everyday

- good, i like that.... 7.8/10

[Bexi]

very cynical but alrmingly reflective i think !

Very much along the lines of being resigned to what we seem to have no control over..i'd love to say you're wrong but ya know..i think ya right

[shadedlife]

nice. not the standard angsty emo stuff i've been reading.

What’s going on around us everyday
that line just didn't flow.

apart from that, i enjoyed it. 8/10

[perkeyset]

I touched the song up a little, truthfull opinions would be much appreciated. thanks

[perkeyset]

please give me some input

[Sgt._Joker]

its awesome i like the line about the media,... so true

9/10

[Jonahtan]

The first two verses are my favorite, i like the syllable counting for first line, second line, third line is duplicated from one verse to the other

[--Attaboy_Skip--]

I love this piece, it's creative. It's written well and it flows well. Good job. I wouldn't change anything. 9/10

Also could you crit my song, On The Other Side Of The Wall?
http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=291272

[crush_my_dreams]

just wow,really amazing..i suggest
<i>Leave it,Just move on
Cause it's not going to get better
Look forward to brighter days ahead
Put on a fake disguise,as if you don't realize
What's going on around us everyday</i>