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BlacklightGuitarist
07-26-2004, 07:58 PM
This is, as stated above, a poem. I wrote it a few weeks ago, and I don't have a name for it, although I was thinking of calling is 'Bloody Long' because that probably sums it up....

There's a tip on the iceberg,
And they're saying there is hope,
There's a ship atop a black reef,
But they're saying they might cope.

Many whispers in the dark,
Many rainbows far too high,
Many wandering as nomads,
And a wanderer am I.

There's a black sky and a lighthouse,
But they still lie for me,
Coz I'm a rider and a thinker,
So that makes me anarchy.

Driving ever in the fast lane,
I'm the oil in the water,
I'm the evil coz I'm honest,
The honesty that you must slaughter.

There is blood all through the page,
Blood so salty from the tears,
Of a pilgrim lying broken,
Drowning out his wasted years.

Building houses on the sand,
Building dreams on fading sunsets,
Building me a life so bland,
A life of friends I call regret.

As the roof begins to plummet,
As the angels all take wing,
Is there no-one left to cry to?
There's no reason left to sing.

All the lights in the darkness,
Only fade into a dream,
And the blackhole spell I'm under,
Builds another thrill machine.

Empty words and empty papers,
Empty words from empty souls,
Enthused by far too little action,
Empty begging to be whole.

All the cards are on the table,
And the beds have all been made,
Sit around and share a fable,
That metaphors the life I crave.

But the fire lies so lifeless,
Like a highway in the night,
So we'll run around in circles,
As we have done all our life.

But they tell us there is hope,
As we're lying here alone,
Their advice falls on deaf ears,
Blind men drink on their own.

In the end, what is hope?
And how can hope be justified?
Coz all men still die alone,
Titanic's iceberg won't lie,
Judas never slept alright,
Alright.

BlacklightGuitarist
07-27-2004, 02:27 AM
bump.

theredwonder
07-27-2004, 05:44 AM
YES! YES! YES! i really like this compared to your other stuff. i have to say with this IMO you've moved away from the david brent type thing. so much better, IMO. i can't really pick out anything that i didnt like, but what i did is this -

Building dreams on fading sunsets

great, and really the rest of that stanza. sorry i can't really say more, but this is too long to pick out any small sections really. great job. 8.9/10 :thumb:

Dunny
07-27-2004, 05:51 AM
wow. Thats great i really found a nice reader. It is as you say bloody long but its great all the same.

There's a black sky and a lighthouse,
But they still lie for me,
Coz I'm a rider and a thinker,
So that makes me anarchy

Driving ever in the fast lane,
I'm the oil in the water,
I'm the evil coz I'm honest,
The honesty that you must slaughter.
I really like these verses i think they represent today as a whole.

All the cards are on the table,
And the beds have all been made,
Sit around and share a fable,
That metaphors the life I crave.
I wasn't to sure on this verse but it was still ok.

Overall great song. Keep it up.
DUNNY

Sloth
07-27-2004, 12:49 PM
haha, alright!

Driving ever in the fast lane,
I'm the oil in the water,
I'm the evil coz I'm honest,
The honesty that you must slaughter.

There is blood all through the page,
Blood so salty from the tears,
Of a pilgrim lying broken,
Drowning out his wasted years. LOVED THIS.......and everything after that. This is the best poem you've posted on here man.

The last 3 stanzas were amazing.
****! i hate being sick! everything is so dull, so grey...i could say more about this poem, but i just can't think...
Serious Props

BlacklightGuitarist
07-27-2004, 06:57 PM
Thanks... The reason it's the best poem I've posted might have a little to do with the fact that it's (as far as I remember) the ONLY poem I've posted on here. Thanks. And also (just curious), who IS David Brent?

theredwonder
07-28-2004, 02:31 AM
hes the lead character in the award winning comedy 'the office'. if you've ever heard of it? :thumb:

the_cure
04-20-2005, 05:22 PM
There's a tip on the iceberg,
And they're saying there is hope,
There's a ship atop a black reef,
But they're saying they might cope.

Many whispers in the dark,
Many rainbows far too high,
Many wandering as nomads,
And a wanderer am I.

There's a black sky and a lighthouse,
But they still lie for me,
Coz I'm a rider and a thinker,
So that makes me anarchy.

Driving ever in the fast lane,
I'm the oil in the water,
I'm the evil coz I'm honest,
The honesty that you must slaughter.

There is blood all through the page,
Blood so salty from the tears,
Of a pilgrim lying broken,
Drowning out his wasted years.

Building houses on the sand,
Building dreams on fading sunsets,
Building me a life so bland,
A life of friends I call regret.

As the roof begins to plummet,
As the angels all take wing,
Is there no-one left to cry to?
There's no reason left to sing.

All the lights in the darkness,
Only fade into a dream,
And the blackhole spell I'm under,
Builds another thrill machine.

Empty words and empty papers,
Empty words from empty souls,
Enthused by far too little action,
Empty begging to be whole.

All the cards are on the table,
And the beds have all been made,
Sit around and share a fable,
That metaphors the life I crave.

But the fire lies so lifeless,
Like a highway in the night,
So we'll run around in circles,
As we have done all our life.

But they tell us there is hope,
As we're lying here alone,
Their advice falls on deaf ears,
Blind men drink on their own.

In the end, what is hope?
And how can hope be justified?
Coz all men still die alone,
Titanic's iceberg won't lie,
Judas never slept alright,
Alright.
YES!!!!!
This is awesome! It's just....**** man... i's, I'm at a loss for words!
It's just that good. This is amazing!
i love the way it doesnt tell you exactly what the first verse is about untill the end.
this is great!
50/10
Mad props to you!