Our new song, plz rate

[longvonsilver]

This is our bands newest song. We've had good feedback from our friends, but i wanna know what u guys think....

Confessions of a tortured soul

VERSE 1
What would the world be like
If I was not here
Would it destroy the smile
Or would it draw a tear

VERSE 2
It wasn’t always like this
It wasn’t always so bad
But now the demon has me trapped
Why shouldn’t I be glad

CHORUS
But now its time for my confession
That’s the reason I am here
Among the crowds I am not heard
I no longer live in fear

VERSE 3
I stare at the beast in all in glory
He stares back, doesn’t look away
My eyes are burning, feel them closing
But then I will not find the way
TO ESCAPE!!!!

[DrUmMeRoFaMaDmAn]

I liked the rhyming and the flow of the lyrics, and I think it could be a decent song. I can't find really anything that needs to be altered much, good work.

[xDoomedx]

Not bad. Would like to hear it.

[sketchyjoe]

The chorus and the final verse are good but I didn't really like the rest of the song. It was a bit boring.

[so44nath]

these r pretty good lyrics and i think itd make a good song so i agree wit DrUmMeRoFaMaDmAn. good work

[xKONRADx]

dont get 'why shouldnt i be glad' at the end of the second verse. other than that pretty decent stuff.

[Guitar Symphony]

I liked verse 1 & 2 a lot. then I hated the rest, work more on it. more imagery or better imagery. I would post examples but I don't like to rush the creator, he needs to create new things for himself.

[longvonsilver]

Lol this post is really old, but i thought id bring it back to see if any other ppl have any views on my lyrics