No Face: Please Crit

[dbdnath]

There is something wrong with me,
I have no face for you to see,
Something’s clawing at my body,
Tearing away tearing away,
Can you help me find my face,
Or can you take me from this place,
These demons won’t leave me alone,
Could I have stopped it if I had known,

My mind was taken away from me,
My face was taken away for free,
My soul didn’t leave it was never there,
But my face is gone and it’s not fair,
You cannot see the way I feel,
You’ll never know how I feel for real,
But you can’t see my face no more,
And you cannot see my painful sore,

I am missing a part of me,
Why can’t you see, why can’t you see,
Something’s missing from my body,
Don’t feel like me, don’t feel like me,
Is it coming back again,
Is this the end, is this the end,
All I need is one true friend,
This is the end, this is the end,

This is the end and I’m all alone,
I lost everything I lost all I own,
There’s nothing left I have no face,
My life is gone it’s all erased,
There is no me the darkness has grown,
It seems it’s all I’ve ever known,
Not how to love just how to hate,
My face is gone and it feels like fate,

I look at the water there’s no reflection,
Without my face I seek affection,
For this new me is alone as well,
But I’m still here why can’t you tell,
Now I’ve changed we’ve grown apart
My life before was a work of art,
But its all gone now just like my face,
Just like one day I pressed erase,


My face is gone now it’s the end,
Now I understand, now I understand,
The old me is gone and so is my friend,
Their gone again, their gone again
My face did go It went for good,
Don’t think it should, don’t think it should
I would have changed it if I could,
You know I would, you know I would,

[death_by_monkeys]

nice work. its a bit of a depressing song but i like it

[DCsicass]

i love depressing songs they are deep and make you think, hell most of my S H I T is depressing anyway great song

My face is gone now it’s the end,
Now I understand, now I understand,
The old me is gone and so is my friend,
Their gone again, their gone again

great couple lines heyar
this in a great song, just seems it might be a bit too long though unless its a fast song,

[DCsicass]

how come no one else is replying to this great song

[DCsicass]

more people need to see this song

[Nephren Ka]

Man, its quite long. Perhaps in trying to make it that length some of the rhymes may feel a bit 'forced' like you felt you had to add them, but hey, its a kick-*** piece. Keep it up

[sadisticmonkey]

'can you help me find my face?'

i like everything BUT that line

[DCsicass]

here i still think people should see this song somemore

[morrissey]

seriously, please stop bumping these old threads. Or I'll request that they be closed.

[anti-centrist2]

im thankful to whoever bumped it cos its a really great song and i wouldnt have had the chance to read it if someone hadnt bumped it.