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No press please.

One of the celeb-spotting highlights of my time at Coachella 2011 was seeing pop starlet Katy Perry, or should I say Katy Perry surrounded by a fat entourage of men allowing only the slightest glimpse of her pixie-sized body, walking across the field towards the VIP area. I found it mildly fascinating that, in a festival where numerous stars could be seen hobnobbing and generally enjoying themselves, Perry found it necessary to travel in a way that would paradoxically maximize not only her protection but also her visibility. There’s few things better suited to announcing to the world that HEY! PLATINUM POP STAR PASSING THROUGH! than traveling in a caravan.

Luckily, one of those few things is tour riders, one of the best ways to determine whether a pop star’s desire for control is beginning to spiral a bit out of reach. The Smoking Gun recently got a hold of Perry’s 2011 rider, and it delivers. We’ve all heard the “only brown M&Ms” horror stories common in the industry, but Perry, who prefers organic snacks, takes things to a diva-tastic level. Demands run the gamut from precisely delineated types of chairs (cream-colored armchairs, God help you if they’re in eggshell white) to a somewhat disturbing repulsion towards carnations (underlined AND capitalized, indicating potential harm to Katy if she is indeed exposed to such flowery trifles) to a comprehensive list of things her driver is NOT allowed to do, including not staring at the backseat and making sure the door is unlocked when picking Perry up (an important rule of thumb in chauffeuring). Oh, and she likes to scalp her own tickets.

Check out the link below for some excerpts. And, please, can someone find me Lady Gaga’s rider?

Katy Perry’s Tour Rider





klap
05.25.11
passing the time

psykonaut
05.25.11
sounds like a cool chick

psykonaut
05.25.11
"The rider also alerts promoters that they may be required to hold back tickets for concerts so that Perry & Co. can provide the ducats to “resellers” for “distribution to the public” on the “secondary market.” In other words, Perry reserves the right to pocket some of the proceeds from the sale of tickets--not made available at face price to her fans--scalped at inflated prices by these brokers."

that crosses the line from diva to scum

Trebor.
05.25.11
She probably only lets Brand use cream color rubbers.

Josh D.
05.25.11
Stare at her? I crank it while thinking about her almost every day.

demigod!
05.25.11
such a babe

Kris.
05.25.11
id still do her

wabbit
05.25.11
Her or Zooey?

alachlahol
05.25.11
taken from one of the comments:

"Apparently not too many people know the purpose of a rider, regardless of the act. It's not about the performer's personal vanity or pleasures, it's about them knowing that the crew and people responsible for setting up the performance are doing their jobs and paying attention. It started with Van Halen - part of their famously huge rider stated very small, mid-way through that each dressing room was to have a bowl of M&Ms, with all the brown ones removed. If they arrived backstage and found their bowl with brown candy in it, they'd then wonder "what else didn't they pay attention to?" This would cause them to have every element of the production - stage, electric, lighting, and all other technical aspects - checked for safety and perfection. They did it as a means to watch out for themselves and know that every last detail was being followed. That's not to say "stars" like Katy Perry don't also use them to get what they want as a perk of the situation, but it's not the true goal of a rider. The more complicated they are, the more attention they require, and the more confident the artist can feel in the show. "


makes some good points even with how ridiculous many of the inclusions are

sniper
05.25.11
zoooooooeeyyyyyy

Kris.
05.25.11
"Her or Zooey?"

both
at the same time preferably

klap
05.25.11
oh yeah i forgot to mention she scalps her own tickets

joshuatree
05.25.11
sounds like my kind of woman

AngelofDeath
05.25.11
Can't see myself being too demanding with a tour rider. I'd ask for a sandwich, some good beer - maybe some concubines. And a chimp dressed in a cowboy costume riding a minature horse.

Satellite
05.25.11
So there I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopowner and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really. But, sure enough, I got the M&Ms, and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show.

StreetlightRock
05.25.11
I love this woman.

Kris.
05.25.11
goddammit satty sometimes i just want to hug you really hard

omnipanzer
05.25.11
Seriously Rudy you should have just copy and pasted the list in it's entirety because it is gold. "Chauffeurs, the rider notes, are not allowed to “start a conversation w/ the client.” "

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL


I love her too streetlightrock

SowingSeason
05.25.11
this blog is worth it for the pic

omnipanzer
05.25.11
^ agreed sir

pizzamachine
05.25.11
boobies

foreverendeared
05.25.11
lol Wayne's World reference

someguest
05.25.11
we all know brand isn't getting any anyway

he's gayer than elton

Tyler
05.25.11
why does she need 8 bath towels wtf

Trebor.
05.25.11
If your tits were that big, you would need 8 bath towels too.

Kris.
05.25.11
i dont understand how she hasnt gotten them out yet
why must she tease us so

Trebor.
05.25.11
Patience young Padawan.

Awesomesauce
05.25.11
Almost as good as the Foo Fighters rider. Actually, no. As good.

TomServo
05.25.11
Satellite's comment = Epic Win

Aids
05.25.11
hahahaha best item on the rider: "A jar of quality honey"

that shit had better be QUALITY mahfuckahs!

Tyrael
05.25.11
Those eyes...

Deathcar
05.25.11
Amazing.

Chrisjon89
05.25.11
I've seen worse riders but seriously...kill me if I ever get that self important.

I'd honestly just walk down to the fucking shop myself and buy some Sour Cream and Onion Pringles. Skip sound check.

NigelH
05.25.11
She needs to quit making music and start doing something she'd actually be good at. Pornography.

BSX
05.26.11
GAGA'S RIDER LIST:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/file/lady-gaga-honey

YOU'RE WELCOME

Fuff24
05.26.11
this rider isn't that crazy. it's a world tour people, she needs to have some atmosphere of home-liness. (that being said I fucking hate her trashy top 40 bullshit music let it be known) there are MUCH more crazy riders out there. Like Van Halen's

Iluvatar
05.26.11
well i mean you guys, honey is important for a singer...

omnipanzer
05.26.11
Great... thanks BSX!

fr33convict
05.26.11
I have to say I'm not at all surprised at the stark contrast between the tone of the comments on this site and the source.

omnipanzer
05.26.11
Check out the RUSH rider... it's only 5 pages long.

fr33convict
05.26.11
Also, the reason for the honey is because it coats the singer's vocal chords. Most vocalists have some pomagranate tea with a lot of honey it to help relax their voice and avoid straining it.

klap
05.26.11
that would make sense if katy could sing. but seriously, who doesn't like honey tbh

fr33convict
05.26.11
I personally just like to have a bottle or two near me at all times.

fr33convict
05.26.11
For drinking purposes or other use.

BSX
05.26.11
Honey is heaven, and lol at Rush's list.

omnipanzer
05.27.11
huh?

omnipanzer
05.27.11
^ message was for a spammer not you andcas

qwe3
05.28.11
she was at my bros after-graduation party and she was alone WOAH

botb
05.28.11
i keep finding myself clicking on this blog to stare at her -.-

Curse.
05.29.11
"Chauffeurs, the rider notes, are not allowed to “start a conversation w/ the client.” Wheelmen are similarly barred from conversing with Perry’s guests or fans. They also are directed not to stare at the backseat through the rear view mirror. Drivers should also not “ask for autographs or pictures, and especially not while driving!”"

She wants to be left alone, I don't see the big deal here. I hate it when taxi drivers try to make bullshit chit-chat.

FromDaHood
05.29.11
I bring my own plexiglass screen to taxis so I can soundproof the back from their crazy, foreign rants

Mendross
05.29.11
I like when taxi drivers make bullshit chit-chat. It breaks the sexual tension.

AliW1993
05.29.11
They spelt "available" wrong...

ZippaThaRippa
05.29.11
spelled?

Tyrael
05.29.11
Spelt is british, spelled is american

spillingmercury
05.29.11
What would unstill water be?

KimmsightMatters
05.29.11
Unbelievable. It's sad how self-absorbed our society is.

Tyrael
05.29.11
Ohshit its Kimm! But yeah you're totally right.

Parallels
05.29.11
i thought katy perry WAS the motorcycle?

spillingmercury
05.29.11
no no you mean lady gaga.

Parallels
05.29.11
ok now ive lost all hope in music.

StreetlightRock
05.30.11
Katy Perry is just a better class of human. Dunno why you're all so upset.

Understanding In a Crash
06.02.11
If it's only 45 pages as stated then that's not so bad... This seems like pretty standard run of the mill stuff compared to other celebrities...

Trist66
06.06.11
Fuck carnations. Who needs them?

Nikkolae
06.06.11
"i dont understand how she hasnt gotten them out yet
why must she tease us so"

well there are this pics of her floating around the net... yeah good stuff

Trebor.
06.06.11
Those are fake.

Nikkolae
06.06.11
they are still far more rewarding than hayleys pic

omnipanzer
06.06.11
"She wants to be left alone, I don't see the big deal here. I hate it when taxi drivers try to make bullshit chit-chat.

Dealing with other human beings is a part of life. Removing random interactions from your day to day life is generally considered elitist. Any average person is going to find the attempt to do so at least slightly bizarre.

rebel86
06.07.11
I hate when lame untalented pop stars/celebrities go to Coachella. They shouldn't be allowed to even attend.

Acanthus
06.09.11
Loved Satellite's comment, I could completely see that happening.

PistolPete
06.09.11
thanks for the new desktop picture!!! I'll hit you back later!

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