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As far as rock bands go, they don’t really come any more profit-oriented than KISS.

It’s decades now since the New York glam pioneers cottoned onto the idea, first articulated by the Rolling Stones, that nostalgia is the true money pit, that unabashedly playing the hits year-on-year to the same audience is a far more profitable well than the whole “recording new music” deal. In the last decade, the KISS and the Stones have released no fewer than two full albums between them, suggesting recorded music may not be a priority for them.

Which makes it all the more unusual that Gene Simmons, The Demon himself, continually manages to get himself caught up in disputes with illegal downloaders. Granted, he has a lot of albums in the can, but very few of them are actually sold in record stores, and it’s difficult to imagine the torrent sites buzzing with excitement over the latest 320kbps rip of Hot in the Shade or Revenge. You’d feel he might be better off leaving the record sales to the people who make records and stick to the pursuit of the midlife crisis dolla.

This week, though, he’s managed to outdo himself. Not only has he continued to voice his support for suing illegal filesharers (an approach even the RIAA has abandoned), he’s threatened to sue Anonymous – yes, the online community of teenage bigots and paedophiles – and have it/them jailed for launching a brute force Denial of Service attack on his website and others earlier this week (ostensibly as a protest against copyright law, but presumably mainly because it’s fun).

Seemingly confused by the concept of “anonymous,” Simmons posted the following tough guy letter to his website, shortly before Anonymous once again forced his server to crap itself:

Some of you may have heard a few popcorn farts re: our sites being threatened by hackers.

Our legal team and the FBI have been on the case and we have found a few, shall we say “adventurous” young people, who feel they are above the law.

And, as stated in my MIPCOM speech, we will sue their pants off.

First, they will be punished.

Second, they might find their little butts in jail, right next to someone who’s been there for years and is looking for a new girl friend.

We will soon be printing their names and pictures.

We will find you.

You cannot hide.

Stay tuned

Scary, no?





Athom
10.18.10
after hearing his rant on suing kids i hope he dies of aids of the cancer of the ass

mynameischan
10.18.10
uhoh gene's got the fbi on his side

pizzamachine
10.18.10
He needs to lighten up.

fr33convict
10.18.10
I'm shaking in my boots.

ShadowRemains
10.18.10
what a flaming douche

Aids
10.18.10
[quote]First, they will be punished.

Second, they might find their little butts in jail, right next to someone who’s been there for years and is looking for a new girl friend.[/quote]

He seriously think someone who downloaded "Rock and Roll all Nite" to throw on their iPod for like some generic dance party deserves to get raped in the ass? Jesus.

Aids
10.18.10
Ah, no formatting in the blog thread I see.

BallsToTheWall
10.18.10
He played a great lawyer in extract.

theacademy
10.18.10
Seriously i do think this is an emerging problem. A former model-turned-business student just won a suit against youtube after some commenter insulted her in typical youtube commenter fashion. The site now has to surrender their contact information so she could sue them for defamation. Regardless of the fact that she probably doesn't have grounds, all their names will get dragged into the open... although she probably wants the publicity... still all they did was comment, i can't imagine what the future holds for 'hackers'

ShadowRemains
10.18.10
i can see why nick and sophie get tired of him...

mynameischan
10.18.10
america sux sometimes

theacademy
10.18.10
also you have an extra 'the' in front of Kiss ("...the KISS and the Stones have...")

theacademy
10.18.10
{===============this one

Aids
10.18.10
I guess I better delete any downloaded KISS songs I have, lest Simmonds comes and finds me and then makes me share a room with a large inmate keen on raping my supple buttocks.

Oh wait, KISS hasn't been worth listening to for years.

mynameischan
10.18.10
the blonde on the right looks like a jackal

fr33convict
10.18.10
Reported.

Jebull
10.18.10
Lmao

Bleekill
10.18.10
What a joke. Why did we lose Dio and this greedy fuck is still here? Not even that they are on the same level but still.

GulliKyro
10.18.10
This guy and Paul McGuinness should marry each other.

ShadowRemains
10.18.10
he'll never get married though...

Hep Kat
10.18.10
this is awesome. i hope anon fucks him up

Ire
10.18.10
"after hearing his rant on suing kids i hope he dies of aids of the cancer of the ass"

this

Emim
10.18.10
I might care if KISS mattered in the least to me.

Hep Kat
10.18.10
don't say that or paul stanley will come suffocate you in make-up and Aquanet in your sleep



swear to fucking god

Emim
10.18.10
I TAKE IT I TAKE IT BACK

ANewTypeOfPunk
10.18.10
i lol'd

DarthBlubber
10.18.10
Wow that urban dictionary link for anonymous is pure gold lol

Also, oh shit I think I'm gonna have to hide now guys...

RosaParks
10.18.10
HI IM GENE SIMMONS. I WAS IN A BAND. IM RELEVANT. PAY ATTENTION TO ME. GIVE ME ATTENTION. GIVE ME MONEY. BUY MY RECORDS BECAUSE GETTING THAT FEW CENTS FROM EACH SALE IS CRUCIAL. AND IM REALLY BUTTHURT ABOUT MY WEBSITE THAT HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE USE EVERY DAY TO STAY UP TO DATE ON WHAT IM DOING BECAUSE IM RELEVANT STILL. THANK YOU.

ConsiderPhlebas
10.18.10
I wish I owned some Kiss records so I could piss on 'em. This guy is a fucking dickhole.

TheAlmightyBungler
10.18.10
girlfriend is one word.

Obfuscation24
10.18.10
well since noone else has said it...
gene simmons, umad? cuz i aint even mad

omgraptors
10.18.10
he cannot win against LEGION

bloc
10.18.10
COME AT ME BRO

seifer
10.18.10
lol he's kinda dumb

xfearbefore
10.18.10
Gene makes it so hard for me to love KISS. Their 70s work was so great. But Christ, what a joke he's become. You're about as "rock and roll" as Enron and McDonalds these days Geney-boy. Haven't you made enough millions selling KISS coffins and other useless shit?

I hope anon fuckin' ravages his website for this silliness.

Inveigh
10.18.10
this news has tarnished the once-sterling image of Gene Simmons and KISS that I've held for years

G3N3R1C
10.18.10
FIRST, THEY WILL BE PUNISHED

WE WILL FIND YOU

YOU CANNOT HIDE

CONSEQUENCES.... WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!

Winsomniac
10.18.10
Generic, that was the first thing I thought of too.


YOU'VE BEEN REPORTED TO THE CYBER-PO-LEECE!

wyankeif1337
10.18.10
what a douche.

Knott-
10.18.10
haha good luck with that one gene

zaruyache
10.18.10
"I thought Anonymous is the group dedicated to protesting Scientology."

Not really. The organized and intellegent members, maybe, but most of them are just a bunch of angry self-righteous 12 year-olds and male basement dwellers. Go read some of the boards on 4chan and you'll see what I mean.

Nikkolae
10.18.10
ohhh lawwwd tha po-po is comming for me!

fucking tard

natey
10.18.10
gene needs to lighten up and get back to playing dressup

DiceMan
10.18.10
This is funny/dumb as all hell.

OvrotLivesAgain
10.19.10
Not really. The organized and intellegent members, maybe, but most of them are just a bunch of angry self-righteous 12 year-olds and male basement dwellers. Go read some of the boards on 4chan and you'll see what I mean.

Hey...I'm not 12 or have a basement. I find that offensive.

Satellite
10.19.10
I guess I'll never download shitty KISS albums anymore...

TheBloodTypo
10.19.10
Did anybody download his stuff to begin with?

Satellite
10.19.10
My high school basketball team used to use a short clip of "Detroit Rock City" before home games. One day Gene Simmons showed up and raped the team captain to death during halftime THEN led our team to an overtime win against our biggest rivals.

Nikkolae
10.19.10
i lol'd Sat

TheBloodTypo
10.19.10
LOL Sat

Titan50
10.19.10
Does anyone remember when he mattered to anything?

TheBloodTypo
10.19.10
No, because that never happened.

qwe3
10.19.10
lets sue anonymous thats a good idea yessir

radianteclipse
10.19.10
Can I sue Gene Simmons for being ugly as fuck and giving me eye cancer? Or for the fact that he has a contagious STD cloud hovering around him that will infect anyone within thirty feet of him?

SmurkinGherkin
10.19.10
what an utter douche

ThePalestMexican
10.19.10
Gene Simmons created metal

sniper
10.19.10
This is definitely the first time I've posted a comment on this.


Why is it in my discussions tab?

qwe3
10.20.10
did you look at it before?

DarthBlubber
10.20.10
Hey sniper01 that happened to me once as well, on some silly underoath news... and I never looked at that news before... it's all very odd!

sniper
10.20.10
No never even looked at it.

Spec
10.20.10
That's not metal at all.

literalsurrealist
10.20.10
People still listen to Kiss? Unironically?

qwe3
10.20.10
im listening to this music just because i HATE IT

Satellite
10.20.10
i listen to music facetiously.

mynameischan
10.20.10
like when people say they watch a tv show to make fun of it

Puzzles
10.20.10
Dude's lucky anyone actually gives a damn about his shit band anymore.

Winsomniac
10.20.10
Meh, he made a logical Faillacy.

Awesomesauce
10.20.10
Yeah, that's knee-deep in hipster wanker territory.

kitsch
10.20.10
anonymous is going to rape him

DemonRob
10.20.10
hide yo kids hide yo wife cause anon is gonne be rapin gene hardcore

Slum
10.20.10
He's gonna back trace you.

TheBloodTypo
10.20.10
Consequences will never be the same.

literalsurrealist
10.20.10
Even ironically, it's still terrible.

ReturnToRock
10.21.10
To whoever mentioned Dio up there: dude, go watch Metal: A Headbanger's Journey to see Dio himself DESROY this asshole. And all without losing his cool or his class. Priceless.

I downloaded the entire KISS discog, Mr. Simmons. I devoted TWO MONTHS of my life to your worthless musical offal. I listened to EVERY SINGLE SONG you ever put out. Still think I deserve suing?

Ire
10.21.10
"To whoever mentioned Dio up there: dude, go watch Metal: A Headbanger's Journey"

awful documentary

ReturnToRock
10.21.10
Why awful?

Alice Cooper bashing black metal = EPIC WIN.

Ire
10.21.10
dumb user dumb opinions

Goku
10.22.10
needs to buy a dog

Parallels
10.23.10
lol "hes got the fbi on his side"
the first owner of the FBI was a cronic crossdresser

Parallels
10.23.10
irony is my point

awal16
10.26.10
Looks like karma kicked him in the arse. He just had to be hospitalized for dehydration.

TheBloodTypo
10.26.10
Did he not have enough Cherry Dr. Pepper?

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