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The Smiling Assassins aka F**k-Nuggets

 “F**k-Nuggets”. That is the first word that entered my head upon the elimination of Siobhan Magnus last night on Season-9 of American Idol. Why? Well, you know when you just have a feeling that something is going to happen at a certain time? Well, I superstitiously predicted this exact occurrence for this exact date. Call it pessimism, a lucky guess or a dreaded sense of fortune telling, but it sometimes is just the way things work. For you see, it is not the American public that I am calling “f**k-Nuggets” (although they have clearly played their part), it is 4 of those 5 d!ckheads currently smiling at you from your computer screens. 

 “But Davey, the judges liked Siobhan’s performance on Tuesday night and weren’t the ones who voted her off” I hear you exclaim. That is not my issue. My issue dates back 3 weeks ago to April-7, when Cowell & Co. inexplicably decided to use their ‘Save’ vote on Offensive Lineman Michael Lynche. For the uninitiated, the 4 judges have the ability to save a contestant who has just been eliminated. However, there are two huge catches: (1) They can only do this once, and (2) they could only do it up until the Top 5. So why in the hell they would choose to do this when a contestant was eliminated in 9th position is beyond me… A fact made even more bewildering by my opinion that Michael has about 0.001% of winning the damn contest. 

Look, even Alicia Keys knew who the 2 most talented singers were when asked to stand between them during a recent photo shoot: 

The past month or so has been enough of a slow crawl as it is. Too many average performances filled each episode, no matter what the song choices were limited to. Having the top 6 contestants then have to choose a Shania Twain song made it all the more depressing, with each singer practically having no issues with performing her predominantly bland offerings. This made the distance between the best and worst performances from Tuesday night extremely marginal and I am not at all surprised that Siobhan (who was NOT the worst by the way) has taken the fall as the unfortunate victim. And this was exactly the kind of predicament why those f**k-nuggets should have kept their Save vote up their sleeves. Grrrrrr.

Now, more than ever, I just wish they would hurry up and get down to the final 2… Hopefully, it will eventually turn out to be the David Cook-lite of Lee DeWyze and the all conquering folkie mother Crystal Bowersox, since they are clearly the most deserving up until this point in time. I personally cannot see anyone stopping the Crystal train (Ellen would pronounce that as “twain” despite the fact that no-one actually found those 2 jokes funny), now that Siobhan has departed. While Siobhan’s quirkiness and answering back to the judges clearly would have turned off some of the voting public, she possessed the strong voice and X-Factor which could have caused an upset come the deciding weeks of the competition. As it is now, it is difficult to imagine anyone lifting their game so much to defeat Crystal. If anything, this competition is there for Crystal’s arguably fragile nature to lose.   

 Then again, as I stated at the end of my original ‘Idol Thoughts’ blog; This is American idol. And as Kris Allen’s victory last season proved, anything is likely to happen on this show.





DaveyBoy
04.29.10
F**K-Nuggets.

klap
04.29.10
siobhan killed herself with all those slow songs

tiesthatbind
04.29.10
I think Casey is more deserving, actually. The 2 people left standing there for elimination tonight were my top two.

DaveyBoy
04.29.10
Maybe Rudy, but this week's performance was anything but slow though... Possibly suggesting that the U.S population thought exactly the opposite.

ttb, are you really Kara in disguise? Come on man, he hasn't got a terrible voice, but it's not exactly strong & is fairly dated. There was a reason why he sang Huey Lewis well.

JWT155
04.29.10
I like John the best... :0

Emim
04.29.10
"I think Casey is more deserving, actually. The 2 people left standing there for elimination tonight were my top two."

YES. To hell with Crystal.

DaveyBoy
04.29.10
I think I will barrack for John too. Can't lose that way.

I swear Emim... You and ttb are the same person. And to the both of you, I bestow the honorary title of f**k-nugget.

Parallels
04.29.10
holy shit! since when was there FIVE of them?

DaveyBoy
04.29.10
Since about 5 hours ago. I wish it was down to 2 though.

JWT155
04.29.10
There is a John? Damn, I just thought of the most generic name to say to like... lol

DaveyBoy
04.29.10
No, there is no John. Hence why I said "can't lose that way".

klap
04.29.10
sorry. replace "slow songs" with "terrible songs"

Emim
04.29.10
"I swear Emim... You and ttb are the same person. And to the both of you, I bestow the honorary title of f**k-nugget."

Only honorary???

JWT155
04.29.10
Gotcha. Wish they did a show for rock bands.

DaveyBoy
04.29.10
"sorry. replace "slow songs" with "terrible songs"" Not much choice when you have Shania Twain's discig to choose from.

"Only honorary???" Yes. You will eventually be usurped by someone saying Tim should have won.

"Gotcha. Wish they did a show for rock bands." They did once. The judges stuffed that one up too!


Emim
04.29.10
Davey...Tim SHOULD have won. He had the most amazing voice; I was captivated by his eyes...

DaveyBoy
04.29.10
I'm not surprised you'd be captivated by his eyes. You screaming teenage girl you.

tiesthatbind
04.29.10
Lee is pretty good too, DaveyBoy, but Crystal is WAY overrated.

Me and Emim just tell it like it is.

Emim
04.29.10
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngSZWRdyBe8

Davey, HOW DID YOU KNOW???

tiesthatbind
04.29.10
^LMAO

DaveyBoy
04.29.10
Crystal may be over-rated, but she is still the best of the bunch.

Thanks for the video Emim. Now I know what you & ttb llok like. ;-)

BSX
04.29.10
I wanted Tim to win, it would've been a victory for VFTW and the end of American Idol

DaveyBoy
04.29.10
For your reasoning BSX, I will not bestow upon you f**k-nugget status.

BSX
04.29.10
Awww thank you!

WhiteWallStargazers
04.29.10
I think everyone loses on this show. . mostly the American public, which still idolizes (pun intended) all these singers that are never any good

thediamondcanopy
04.29.10
Lmao'd at the Shania Twain episode. Painfully bad.

I mean you know how bad it is when you decide to watch The Biggest Loser over AI.

Lambda
04.29.10
Crystal will get second in a huge upset to someone else. Mark my words. Although in a way, it's better to get second place than first- you aren't attached to American Idol totally, but still end up getting a recording contract afterwards.

scissorlocked
04.29.10
holy Crap,why do you keep watching these awful shows???Its truly a waste of time.Prying open our third eye..

botb
04.29.10
the girl that got kicked off last night is far superior to that 16 year old guy. he reminds me of this toolbag i went to school with that i always wanted to beat senseless but never did because i was too nice.

DaveyBoy
04.29.10
"I think everyone loses on this show." I think a good case can be made for this argument.

"I mean you know how bad it is when you decide to watch The Biggest Loser over AI." OUCH! That is bad!

"Crystal will get second in a huge upset to someone else. " Looks like you have one of those feelings I spoke of at the beginning of this blog. It would not surprise me at all if you were correct... Although it would be interesting to know if she has been genuinely dominating the votes thus far.

"Although in a way, it's better to get second place than first" I kicked off a review this way a while back (jessica Mauboy I think).

"holy Crap,why do you keep watching these awful shows???" My dedication to SputnikMusic knows no boundaries.

"the girl that got kicked off last night is far superior to that 16 year old guy." You speak of Aaron who is only just ok and has probably been a little lucky to get this far. Having said that, I did think he was rather good this past week.

How is the Offensive Lineman still there!? That's what I want to know.

DaveyBoy
04.30.10
I wouldn't know, so cannot comment on this conspiracy theory. But if it is even partially true to keep the ratings for a certain demographic, then it would indeed be sad.

Fugue
04.30.10
"They wanted to save the black vote. Sad but true."

Seriously? Kind of defeats the show's point.

DaveyBoy
04.30.10
Does it Ross? A strong argument can be made that an tv show is purely there to grab ratings & subsequntly rake in advertising dollars.

Willie
04.30.10
So, she's gone... lame.

DaveyBoy
04.30.10
Yep, Siobhan is gone. Lame indeed.

By the way, I should have added somewhere in this blog that of the remaining contestants (Crystal included), I do think Siobhan has the "potential" to eventually release the best album. In the right hands, her voice & quirkiness could be really used well.

Fugue
04.30.10
My point was based solely from a musical perspective (SputnikMUSIC.com).

Willie
04.30.10
I'm willing to bet that Siobhan is the breakout artist from this year's contestants (or the hot blonde that got dropped a while ago - she had a unique voice too).

DaveyBoy
04.30.10
Maybe I'll start up Sputniktv.com.

Agreed Trey. Didi is the other one you're thinking about. I also think she could be successful, BUT I'm guessing it may be in theater.

tiesthatbind
04.30.10
I agree that they definitely used the save too early, this was the night they needed it.

DaveyBoy
04.30.10
Thanks for the agreement ttb. It doesn't redeem your love for Casey though.

BSX
04.30.10
They should've had Katy Perry as a judge the arguments she had with Kara was gold.

DaveyBoy
04.30.10
Yeah, good point someguest. Another pointer, that they prefer ratings & advertising $$$

Katy Perry, Posh Spice, Doogie Howser... the list goes on. I can't quiet see any of them cracking "choo choo twain" gags.

Emim
04.30.10
CASEY

4

LYFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEE

DaveyBoy
05.01.10
nWo 4 Life. Toooooo Sweeeeeeeeet.

Emim
05.01.10
Casey should win.

Fugue
05.01.10
Oh I get it, it's about Pop Idol and called "Idol" Thoughts. Funny.

DaveyBoy
05.01.10
"Idol Thoughts". I so clever. Then , when the series is over, I will write another 'Idol Thoughts' and they really will be just idol thoughts.

Ummm, Casey would have to write female-demeaning lyrics to be allowed into Nickelback... And I think Chad Kroeger & Austin Winkler (from Hinder) have a duopoly on that.

Emim
05.01.10
The Casey and Chad comparisons are pretty stupid.

DaveyBoy
05.01.10
Agreed Emim. Casey & Huey lewis are much more apt. Yeah, seriously.

Emim
05.01.10
He's got the blues/country thing going on.

DaveyBoy
05.01.10
Not bluesy enough to be blues. Voice isn't strong enough to be rock. Don't care about country. And not poppy enough to be pop. He's a bitsa this bitsa that for mine.

Emim
05.01.10
Unlike Crystal, who just sucks ;)

Emim
05.01.10
I hope not, her act has gotten rather bland.

Emim
05.01.10
It's a hell of lot more interesting than hippie hour.

Emim
05.01.10
Oh yeah, the Creed comparison is retarded too.

Emim
05.01.10
Is that your final answer?

Emim
05.01.10
Regardless, Casey >>> Crystal

Didi was the best though... :'(

tiesthatbind
05.01.10
How did Creed get into this?

DaveyBoy
05.01.10
You guys are crazy. The thing is, Crystal is a folky type singer. So it's going to be more difficult for her to perform well on a soul night or something like that. Considering that, she really is far and away in the lead right now. That's if, there was indeed a lead.

Emim
05.01.10
"How did Creed get into this?"

Ask someguest.

"You guys are crazy. The thing is, Crystal is a folky type singer. So it's going to be more difficult for her to perform well on a soul night or something like that. Considering that, she really is far and away in the lead right now. That's if, there was indeed a lead."

The only performance I have enjoyed from her was her Vegas one. Every other one is samey and annoying.

DaveyBoy
05.01.10
You sound like a judge. Not a particular one. Just a judge.

Emim
05.01.10
You sound like Paula, Davey. Well, aside from the "f**k-nuggets" thing...

DaveyBoy
05.01.10
Hehe. The show misses Paula. Unsure why, but it does.

Emim
05.01.10
Because they replaced her with Ellen. That's like replacing the common cold with the plague.

DaveyBoy
05.01.10
All aboard the Paula Abdul twain.

Emim
05.01.10
No thank you.

tiesthatbind
05.01.10
They just needed a token lesbian on the show apparently, idk why.

DaveyBoy
05.02.10
And there Paula was singing "STRAIGHT up now tell me". Now we know what she was really singing about. LOL.

tiesthatbind
05.02.10
(rimshot)

DaveyBoy
05.02.10
Hehe. Poor Ryan. he's ona hiding to nothing hosting that show.

DaveyBoy
05.02.10
Then again, he's probably a millionaire for doing it.

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