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Super limited deluxe special editions of albums (I think I got all of the adjectives) are getting a bit ridiculous.  On one hand, I think it’s really awesome that there are bands out there who want to give the fans a little something extra, but then I realize that most “special editions” contain some shitty, half-assed DVD that has thirty minutes of footage (if you’re lucky) about what five of the songs are about.

The horrible thing is, I will almost always buy the special edition even though logic has proven time and time again that it is a total waste of money.  And do I legitimize my purchase by watching the DVD/listening to the bonus tracks/utilizing surround sound technology to hear Opeth’s Still Life in a whole new light?  Nope.  I very rarely take advantage of the band’s decision to bestow insight into their writing process and/or the things they do while they’re on their tour bus or inside their tour van.  Here is a list of some of the bonus content that I have done absolutely nothing with:

- The DVD included with Underoath’s Lost In The Sound Of Separation.  It’s worth mentioning here that I bought both the special edition of the CD that came with the DVD, and the special vinyl box set that also includes the CD and DVD.  So I have two Underoath DVDs that I will most likely never, ever watch.  But hey, 10″ vinyl in the shape of a sawblade!

- The DVD included with Behemoth’s Evangelion.  I’m not sure why I bought this album in the first place, let alone the special edition.  It’s a great album, but it’s almost guaranteed that I will never listen to it in my car or anywhere else.

- I was going to put the DVD that came with Mastodon’s Crack The Skye in this spot, but then I realized that I can’t remember whether or not I bought the special edition at all.  That is how worthless that DVD most likely is.

- The Useless Creatures companion album that came with the special edition of Andrew Bird’s Noble Beast.  I paid THIRTY DOLLARS for this album, for no other reason than it had fancier packaging than the regular edition.  I have had it for a year and I still have not listened to the companion album.  I even downloaded Useless Creatures when I initially got the album, and I still didn’t listen to it.  Again, I paid thirty dollars for something even though I was fully cognizant of the fact that I would never listen to the bonus content ever.  But it came with a poster, so that’s something.

For some reason that I will never understand, special editions of albums are the bug zapper to my blundering moth.  I bought the special edition of Slayer’s World Painted Blood even though I am, at best, a casual fan of the band.  I had literally no interest in the album even though I quite liked Christ Illusion, yet I bought it anyway.  You know why?  Because it had a translucent, blood-colored slipcase.  Oh wait, no it didn’t.  It just had a translucent, blood-colored slip of plastic on the cover that fell right the fuck off when you opened the album.  I paid fifteen dollars for that. Oh yeah, and I don’t own Christ Illusion or any other Slayer album for that matter.  If a Slayer fan were to stumble upon my CD collection and notice that World Painted Blood is the only Slayer album I own, he would probably beat me senseless.  In doing so, he would probably force the knowledge out of me that I bought the CD at Hot Topic.  After a moment’s confusion as to why I blurted out that fact considering he wasn’t even interrogating me in the first place, he would resume beating me even more severely than before.

So I can recognize the complete ridiculousness of many special editions, yet nine times out of ten I will still buy that version over the cheaper regular edition that contains the content that I actually care about.  And if the special edition is too expensive for me to be able to justify buying, I will go home empty-handed.  That’s right, I won’t be satisfied unless I have the special edition.  And sometimes I’ll plop down the money anyway.  That special edition of Underoath’s Lost In The Sound Of Separation? I can’t remember the exact sum of money I spent on it, but it was somewhere around ninety dollars.

SO WORTH IT

And let’s not even talk about the fact that I have everything KT Tunstall has ever released.  I’d be hard-pressed to remember a time that I popped in one of those Tunstall CDs or the, you-guessed it, DVDs that came with them, because I of course bought the special editions.  When I bought the special edition of Fall Out Boy’s Infinity On High, it wasn’t on sale at Best Buy like the regular edition was.  But, seeing how this wasn’t exactly specified clearly, I asked one of the sales associates if the special edition was on sale as well.  He didn’t know, so he asked someone else.  They argued about it for a few minutes and ended up giving it to me on sale, probably just to get me to leave them the hell alone.  These are the depths I will sink to in getting my beloved special editions.  The lure of a box set is just so enticing!  The special edition of Broken Bells’ album is housed in a fucking music box.  Yep, when you open it to get the CD, a song plays that they wrote specifically for the goddamn music box.  The special edition of Lady Gaga’s The Fame comes with a lock of her hair.  And I almost bought it. The only thing keeping me from getting it was the hefty price tag (it was a hundred dollars) and any remaining dignity that I may or may not have.

The point of all of that was to say that I bought the deluxe edition of Coheed & Cambria’s Year Of The Black Rainbow earlier tonight.  You know, the one that comes with the 350-page novel.  I read the first few pages and it seems like the single most confusing thing ever written.  If I make it through, I will review it in a future edition of Chan’s Plans.

Monday, April 12, 2010
HereticAnthEm550 (9:12:58 PM): hey could i get blue sky noise
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
HereticAnthEm550 (12:40:16 AM): hey could i get blue sky noise
Thursday, April 15, 2010
HereticAnthEm550 (3:18:41 AM): how do you add an album
HereticAnthEm550 (3:18:55 AM): or artist for that mattr




mynameischan
04.18.10
in IMing me or adding me on facebook, you waive all rights

also these get longer every time and i apologize for that!

mynameischan
04.18.10
you have a unique talent for IMing me when i'm not there

Prophet178
04.18.10
You should sell all your shitty limited editions and get the Lady Gaga one.

Powerban
04.18.10
ifur555im666

Ire
04.18.10
I was expecting you to mention the special edition cd for Watershed... but the dvd is kinda awesome because it features Mikael.

mynameischan
04.18.10
i was going to but it would have gotten redundant considering i have the special editions of watershed, still life, and ghost reveries, and i have both versions of the roundhouse tapes

theacademy
04.18.10
world painted blood is a fun album

VicariousIntent
04.18.10
I usually do this too, but I actually watch the DVDs. Almost none of them are any good. Coincidentally though, the DVD with the special edition of YotBR is pretty cool.

Jebull
04.18.10
Haha I do the same thing... whenever I actually do have money.. I'm a sucker for that kinda thing.

ninjuice
04.18.10
I doubt that novel is as bad as the booklet for De-Loused in the Comatorium (which is basically pages and pages of writing very similar to their lyrics).

SowingSeason
04.18.10
i have a shitload of bonus material that i paid extra for too. i should never have spent a dime on any of it. in fact if i could have it all back id have enough to buy the neverender dvd by coheed and cambria that i still have yet to see

Ghostechoes
04.18.10
One can buy music?

robertsona
04.18.10
lol that aim is gold

cinaedus
04.18.10
i watched the dvd that came with lost in the sound of separation. you're not missing anything

Tulannical
04.18.10
shoulda bought the fame special edition. totally worth it.

FreePizzaDay
04.18.10
I watched the SE DVD for Cracking The Skye, and aside from a short, amusing portion where Brann talks about his awesome car, I don't think I enjoyed a second of it.

But a lock of Gaga's hair? That would be pretty cool if weren't so... weird...

theacademy
04.18.10
i got the insane watchmen collectors editch. totally worth it. music SE's are stupid..

Captain North
04.18.10
The fact that you know you do this and do it anyway is pretty pathetic. Just watch the fucking things.

mynameischan
04.18.10
pathetic?

or AWESOME

IGotShotInTheFace
04.18.10
SSSLLLAAAYYYEEERRR!!!

Glad to see they got in there... Chan's Plans #9 will need more BrokeNCYDE hate.

Piglet
04.18.10
I recently bought the Deluxe Edition of OK Computer, that seemed pretty worth it

mynameischan
04.18.10
piglet did you get the super box edition or just the digipak one

Tulannical
04.18.10
i'd rather have the vinyl of ok computer oh wait i already dooooo

mynameischan
04.18.10
so do i suq me

Piglet
04.18.10
Pretty sure it's the Super Box Edition.

Mordecai.
04.18.10
I bought the Linkin Park - Meteora special edition and it was sooo worth it

theacademy
04.18.10
some deluxe editions i shelled out for:

1. Resistance 2 (ps3)
2. Clerks 2 (dvd)
3. Watchmen (blu)
4. Pokemon Heart Gold (nds)
5. 300 (blu)
6. P.D. James' "The Children of Men" (First edition printing)


that's all i can find...

mynameischan
04.18.10
congrats on gettin that shitty little plastic chimera figure

theacademy
04.18.10
HAHAH YES i was so fuckin pissed. what a piece of shit...

JWT155
04.18.10
Completely agree with most of your points.

sniper
04.18.10
I've bought a few special editions, but I can't even remember what they were, so obviously I never got around to any of that expensive bonus material.

sniper
04.18.10
Oh yeah, I bought that stupid fucking Nirvana box set when it came out, and only listened to like 2 of the discs ever. And I wasn't even a huge fan of them anymore at the time.

Tulannical
04.18.10
the only deluxe edition cd i have is blackwater park, which includes 2 extra songs and a video for harvest.

TheyTookOurJobs
04.18.10
slipknot 'all hope is gone' deluxe edition piece of crap was the biggest waste of 25 dollars ever, i could have bought the 'Australian queens of yodeling box set for 1/25th of the price.

AliW1993
04.18.10
i only really buy special editions for by my very favourite bands, though thats usually because i cant afford them rather than i dont want them

thetree
04.18.10
so so true


thebhoy
04.18.10
Useless Creatures has some really good stuff on it, you should actually listen to it.

Also, was the novel written by Coheed? Because then it was mostly likely be terrible.

mynameischan
04.18.10
claudio wrote it with peter david who is a bestselling author of both novels and comic books

SrightryEpic
04.18.10
not gonna lie the saw shaped vinyl is awesome

somberlain
04.18.10
"If a Slayer fan were to stumble upon my CD collection and notice that World Painted Blood is the only Slayer album I own, he would probably beat me senseless"
especially if you only bought it for the packaging!

mynameischan
04.18.10
well i bought it because i like slayer but the packaging sealed the deal

and yeah the saw shaped vinyl rules but worth 90 dollars idk??

plane
04.18.10
I've shelled out for a few special editions in my lifetime but recently only two and those happen to be the only ones I own. Caribou's Up in Flames and the National's Alligator. Seems like a lot of money wasted but (un?)fortunately not your time.

somberlain
04.18.10
You like Slayer but own only WPB?
love your blog btw keep doing your thing Chan

plane
04.18.10
I still own*

having sold the others in moments of clarity

mynameischan
04.18.10
yeah i just never got around to buying their other stuff. i'm not a hardcore slayer fan so other albums took priority over them. i'll pick up their classics eventually.

lew what was in the alligator special edition

robertsona
04.18.10
packaged with a real-life alligator

somberlain
04.18.10
"packaged with a real-life alligator"
well that would be worth 90 dollars or more!

jesusjuice1179
04.19.10
*gasp*


a chan's plans that has some sort of relevance to music! Impostor!

hando
04.19.10
omg

kitsch
04.19.10
lol at people buying music

IAmInsect
04.20.10
i hear you chan. i get special editions all the time, even of shitty albums. it's a sickness.

qwe3
04.20.10
such a chan

poweroftheweez
04.20.10
my girlfriends cousin is in underoath.fun fact.

Irving
04.20.12
This is so me.

"The point of all of that was to say that I bought the deluxe edition of Coheed & Cambria’s Year Of The Black Rainbow earlier tonight. You know, the one that comes with the 350-page novel. I read the first few pages and it seems like the single most confusing thing ever written. If I make it through, I will review it in a future edition of Chan’s Plans."

But but the packaging was sooooo preeeeettyyyyyy!!

theacademy
04.20.12
add to my list above:

7. GTAIV Lockbox Edition (ps3)
8. Dead Space 2 (ps3)
9. The Color Spectrum vinyl box set


Satellite
04.20.12
thought this was a new chan's plans, but alas, i am drunk.

Ire
04.20.12
aw this was fun chan. rip

theacademy
04.20.12
rip

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